Being able to get an erection, but not maintain it, can be frustrating. Your boyfriend might feel like he cannot last as long as you would like, or like there’s a timer counting down as soon as sexual activity starts.

Here are a few tips for understanding some possible underlying causes, along with some solutions that could help.

One-off problems

There are several reasons why he might find it difficult to keep an erection during sex. Most people find that they face this question at some point in their lives.

Most of the time, this is absolutely nothing to worry about. Losing an erection is very often due to common, everyday factors like:

• stress
• tiredness
• anxiety – e.g. ‘first night nerves’
• drinking too much alcohol
• the side effects of a drug 
• too much porn
• performance anxiety longer term (as the issues compounds)

Some people will experience this much more often than others.

Signs of underlying health problems:

If he regularly loses his erection during sex, it could be a sign of an underlying health condition. This could be a physical or an emotional health condition, and may need treatment in the form of medication or lifestyle changes.

The main physical reasons he might lose his erection during sex are:

• high cholesterol or high blood pressure
• blood flow issues (a narrowing of the blood vessels in your penis)
• a physical issue with the shape of your penis, like Peyronie's disease
• side effects of a prescription medication you’re taking
• premature ejaculation
• hormone problems

It can also be caused by psychological reasons (some as mentioned before):

• Stress
• Performance anxiety
• Emotional or mood problems
• Not having sexual desire, or not being aroused

If he's concerned about losing his erections during sex, he should talk to his doctor for advice or possibly seek counselling.

I know it is a touchy subject, but you do need to talk about it if you are ever going to have a chance of resolving it. Be gentle, supportive and non-judgmental in your approach.