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Question
Posted by: | 2018/05/19

Am i wrong for being angry;.

My now ex-partner and I had a massive argument over R25 and then proceeded to end the relationship. We have had a hectic month financially, he is starting up his business and I took the very last money I had to help him. This is not a way I like to live but its for a bigger cause. On Thursday I told him that we didn't have money for food, he then made a plan and we could at least have a home cooked meal instead of bread. He needed to go to the police station to have documents signed, on his return he tells me that he met his friend at the police station (she is a police officer) and that she refused to stamp his documents if he didn't buy her food. Now we have absolutely no money save the R50, I had in my wallet. He then decided to take the money from my wallet to buy this woman a take-away from Barcelos. I got very angry because I told him that that money could go towards another rmeal at the end of the following day but he said that its only R25 and she asked for it. This is an elderly lady who does this all the time, she stamp his documents if he doesn't buy her food. He bought me a chocolate that very night and when I mentioned the R25 he said that I should then return the chocolate because we don't have money and that is wasteful expenditure. I tried to explain to him that I had bread for supper and this woman got take aways and his response was that she asked for it and its okay for us to eat bread. Am I being ridiculous by being angry? Anyway it doesn't matter because he ended the relationship, blocked me, took his things and moved out.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2018/05/24

Firstly, I'm sorry that someone, I don't know who, has caused needless delays in putting your question to me, so I can answer it. 
Gosh, so R 25 is the going rate for a relationship these days ?  That's the opposite of inflation.
If his police officer "friend" insisted he pay her with food, before signing his documents, she is a shameful disgrace to the police force, as this is tantamount to demanding a bribe. He should have reported her to the commanding officer. That was no friend. 
There is no excuse for such grubby behaviour, and if she keeps on doing this : why is she wasting the time on the job we pay her for, to spend the time begging for food ?  Police pay could be higher, but it is well above the starvation level.  The fact that she ASKS for it doesn't justify it at all.
So your anger was reasonable.
If he is now walking out on you, that's bad behaviour, too. When does he plan to pay you back for the money you have invested in his new business scheme ?  If he's already paying bribes, the business could well fail, and deservedly.


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