Posted by: Flower 1980 | 2009/08/24

6 year old son

I have a 6 year old son, person whom I loved most in the world. I am a very aggresive person and sad to say verbally abusive towards my husband, due to the past what he did to me. Whenever we have arguments I tend to be very rude and swear. I have notice my son has become very agressive, when grown ups play with him, he can' t take the joke, then he starts crying and fighting with them. This morning he started crying for nothing and started heating his father. Is my abusive and vulgar behaviour rubbing of on my son. How can I help him to become a better person. Do you think he needs to be asses.

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Our expert says:
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Obviously the aggression is a problem. Also, you have surely noticed that the verbal aggression helps nothing --- and that fighting Now about whatever happend way back Then, doesn't help either. That's like, when you're struggling to pay rent, , insisting on paying again rent for each of the past years, every year, as well as the current rent.
And, as you will also have noticed, kids easily learn anger and aggression --- if that's what mom does when there's a problem of if she just doesn't feel too happy, then I suppose that must be what I ought to do. One of one's duties as a parent, which most people overlook, is to model appropriate and useful behaviours for our children.
Maybe it'd be wise for you to see a counsellor, to sort out your own problems and concerns, so as to be better able to show your child how to handle the difficulties in life.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gracie | 2009/08/24

You can help your son by becoming a better person by becoming a better person yourself! Your child is behaving the way he sees you behave! You cannot expect him to be a happy, well-adjusted child if you are behaving in such a bad manner in his presence - he probably thinks that everything must be dealt with in an aggresive manner hence the crying and fighting when someone just plays with him! You must learn to forgive your husband for what he did in the past - don' t allow what happened then to destroy your future and that of your innocent child! He is only 6 yrs old - he is still very little and does not know any better! Your behaviour is clearly rubbing off on your son and it' s about time you stopped! How long do you think your husband is still going to put up with your bullying? A person can only take so much ... don' t swear at your husband - you are humiliating him and yourself - a woman is not supposed to behave like trailer park trash ... very bad example you are setting for your son. You need to have a good look at yourself and stop carrying the past' s hurts around with you - forgive your husband for whatever it was that he did and you will start to feel better...... I am not a psychologist .... this is just my humble opinion!

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