Our expert says:
Thank you for your message.
You're wanting to organise a 3-sum for your husband with two strange women in order to surprise him... This raises many issues for me. For example, you're assuming that he'll be pleased with your birthday gift to him - but how will you feel? How will this impact on the future of your marriage? How will you feel when in future your husband has sex with other women, and when you complain about it he says that you encouraged it?
Maybe I'm just being old-fashioned on this one, but I doubt you're approaching this correctly. If you want to surprise him, try something else - that involves both of you. Buy a sex toy, if you want to keep the gift sexual, that you can use on each other. Or buy yourself some very sexy underwear that he'll appreciate seeing you wear (and which may make you feel more sexy as well).
I also think you need to go easy on yourself - you recently had a baby, and it is possible that this is affecting your sex drive. Which is quite normal, especially if you have to get up at night to feed your baby while you continue to act as a wife to your husband and manage the home. Is he being supportive of you? Is he helping you with caring for the baby, and is he taking on extra chores around the home to help you? Why don't you surprise him by buying him a few cookery classes for his birthday - which will benefit you both?
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