Posted by: naked nun | 2008/06/27

'borrowed' jacket???

I've had something on my mind since last night, and I need advice on this issue as it's really bothering me!
Yesterday when i got home, my sister was wearing an extremely nice jacket of mine, which was hanging in my closet at home. I have really forgotten about this jacket, as I rarely open this closet when I am at home. (I live seperately from my sister and parents.)
I simply asked her if it was indeed mine (she confirmed that) and then I calmly told her that I would like it back, as it is the only decent jacket I own (even though my mom bought it for me when I was 17.) and that I've completely forgotten about it.
She refused on the grounds that I haven't worn it for over a year, and not because she doesn't have nice winter's clothes (she HAS - she buys ALL her stuff - and she has a LOT - at Woolworths. She also earns a much bigger salary than I do.
And ANYWAY I couldn't see the POINT of reasoning over it - it IS MINE after all!!!! Well, it developed into a full-blown fight, and got kind of nasty, she saying that she feels I'm being petty, and that she doesn't believe that I've 'forgotten' about the jacket, and me just sticking to the fact of it being mine and she's got more than enough other clothes BUT that she's MORE than welcome to borrow the jacket since I wouldn't be wearing it every single day. That I just need her to ASK beforehand. Then she said no thank you, she's not interested, the jacket will forever brings back bad memories after our fight, she said, and she doesn't want somethign that's smelling like vomit. I think that was particularly nasty of her, as I always take good care that I DON:T smell like that! But I always worry over it. And I do struggle with this eating disorder every single minute of my life, I did NOT need a reminder like that!

What should I do? Should I just back off and let it go quietly? Or was I correct in standing up for myself? I never handle conflict situations like this one very well, as I always tend to feel I'm wrong so I give in, but it's changing slowly, I think...only now I'm kind of afraid to come over too strong.
Please help CS or anyone!! I want your opinions on this please.

Thank you!
NAked Nun

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Isn't she being nasty, greedy and selfish. In law, it is your coat, whether you remember it or forget it, and as she knew it was, taking it with no intention of returning it to you is theft. Ignore her nasty, catty comments, relieve her of the coat she apparently finds so evil-smelling ( if so, why was she wearing it in the fuirst place, and why did she argue about it ? Don't give in to her --- she is in the wrong. Wouldn't your parents agree and tell her so ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Tango | 2008/06/27

She had no right to go into your private space (bedroom, cupboards) and take something. Its theft and a lack of respect. The nasty comments - well- it proves how nasty and spitefull she is. She should return that jacket irrespective of how often you do or do not wear it.

Reply to Tango

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.