Posted by: VJB | 2009/06/17

34 YR old abusive son

my 34yr old son who lives on his own is being abusive to the ex girlfriend who has a 1yr old child from him, he wants nothing to do with the child. but came 11pm then he goes &  causes problems where she lives. how do i as a mother turn my back on him. he refuses to admit he has an anger management problem. i have tried to force councelling but he told person he has no problem. where to from here..... restraining order mean nothing to him. he believes he is untouchable. please give advice

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Our expert says:
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Its not a question of turning your back on him, but on this sort of behaviour, making it very clear that there is no reasonable justification for it. If he is going to harrass her and the child again, she should get a court interdict forbidding him from doing so, and he would be arrested if he tried it again. I wonder if he had been drinking heavily at the time. You canot force effective treatment on him. But if there is a restraining order, then she should be encouraged to call the police and have him arrested. Maybe some visits to jail ( because breaking a restraining order amounts to contempt of court ) may help him to realize that he DOES have a problem needing assessment and tratment. Let him discover that he is not untouchable

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/06/18

let me tell you, after restraining order he will get a warning from the police if he does wrong again then you will go to small claims court, there they will confirm if it is domestic abuse and then if he does it again will go to jail afterwards appear in court where they might even scare him off to get help or otherwise go to jail,do it, the best thing, the child is suffering and might think that what your son is doing is right and will end up doing the same thing when the child is grown up like a chain reaction and might even hit his mother, so stop this now.its not good for anybody especially the child. im telling you i know!

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