Posted by: Spiderman | 2006/07/24

3 Questions

1.Is it alright for 2 gay guys to have sex without a condom if both is HIV Negative?

2.Is it Alright to mastrubate in private while fantas. about sum1 else (not ur partner) when u r in a relastionship?

3. Is it possible to GO STRAIGHT? after you've been gay?-when i spoke to my pastor about being gay he said 'God can make you "normal" again look at me God changed me'- oky lets not do the religion thing! i am a Christian and i believe God made me the way i am. I'm HAPPELY GAY AND HAPPELY CHRISTIAN.

thanks guys and guls ;)

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Spiderman and welcome to the forum. Please accept my sincere apology for my slow response.

1) If both guys are HIV positive, sex without a condom is fine. However the question needs to be asked: how sure are you that your partner is negative? Remember the window period in HIV tests - rapid tests currently have a window period of 6 - 8 weeks, so if either of you were infected six to eight weeks prior to your latest test, your infection would be unlikely to show up in an HIV test.

2) Totally OK. That's what fantasy is about. Relax and enjoy your fantasies.

3) NO - it is not possible to change your sexual orientation, even with God's help. Who can really know whether Jesus was straight or not? There's plenty of room for being both gay AND Christian.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Gareth | 2006/07/31

This is a late reply, but hopefully Sahara will get this. I do not want to argue with you about what is truth and what is not. But just try it once and dig a bit deeper. I know quite a few theologists, or people whom have actually studied (and got doctors degrees in theology) and if you read the story about Sosom and Gommora properly you will understand it too. Sodom was NOT destroyed because of homosexuality, in fact, it had nothing to do with sexuality. Go read it again. What did the men ask lot at his door that night? To bring the two strangers out, so that they can rape and humiliate them. What did lot answer? Here, take my daughters instead. Why would he offer his daugters if these men were gay? They were rather criminals and rapists. But also, in those times, according to history, it was law that if you are a stranger in a town, you go to the plain, like these men did, and it was law that the people of the town be curtious to strangers and look after them (like Lot did). Sodom and Gommora fell into sin by being violent and lawless, nothing to do with their sexuality. Also, did you know that, in those times, it was custom that after a war was won, the winning side would rape the losing side men, as a sign of victory and to humiliate them. A very barbaric custom, agreed, but that was how it was. Those men weren't gay. Also, in the new testament times (and this was what Paul referred to) you had male hookers at the temple, and the belief was that if you have sex with the men there, it would make you fertile.
So please, believe what you want, you are entitled to that, but if you want to make statements like these, make sure that it is educated statements, and that you get your facts right.

Reply to Gareth
Posted by: Brad | 2006/07/27

Hi guys and another interesting discussion. Just wanna remind Sahara that the expert on the forum once mentioned that there's a recognised theory in formal theology that questions whether Jesus could have been gay. So what if he was? It should be of no consequence. Secondly, Sahara, if you live your life by the Bible then you must follow every word of Leviticus, to the letter - when last have you sacrificed a dove, or a goat and when you did, did you do it 100% correctly? Do you avoid wearing clothes made from mixed fabrics? The Jesus I know associated with leppers and prostitutes and was strongly critical of people (including church leaders) who were judgemental of others.

Reply to Brad
Posted by: Deeve | 2006/07/26

Sahara, apology accepted.
Please try and understand that there are millions of Gays on this planet. We also don't quite understand why we are attracted to the same sex, any more than you do. We just get on with life, and try to make inner peace with our God, who unfortunately for those that have different ideas, seems to accept us just the way we are. And you might have noticed, Gay people stand firmly together, and are VERY PROUD!!
Warm Regards

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Sahara | 2006/07/26

Hey Deeve & Spiderman
I'm sorry if I came on wrong.A religion is not really something people can argue about, because everyone has their own point of view.My apologies!!!!
Thanks for the tip on my curiosity...

Did not mean to judge you...

Have a great.

Reply to Sahara
Posted by: Spiderman | 2006/07/26

Oky, so i started this forum so i thought i'd jump in. Sahara you curious? I suggest you read the book called "OPENLY CHRISTIAN, OPENLY GAY" if ur in Cape Town you can get the book from The Triangle Project -(a real cool place) I get what ur saying i have been struggeling with the whole religion thing for a long time, but this book really opened my can also go to gayyouth(DOT)co(DOTza and click on the religion link.
come on guys lets blow Sahara a HomoKISS >>mmmwha<

oh and another thing bout 5 months ago then i was so SILLY to believe it was a sin to be gay (how stupid was i not)i went to my pastor so he prayed for me to "CHANGE"...the next morning i woked up i looked in the mirror and i stilled like guys!- i spoke to a gay pastor-i asked him way didnt i "change" he said maybe GOD likes you the way you are and his happy the way he created you. i would like to quote Boertjie again:'if you have the Spirit of God In you, and you have peace about being gay, that peace is from God.'


Reply to Spiderman
Posted by: Deeve | 2006/07/26

No Sahara, your relationship with God is very different to mine, and you ARE trying to get me to see your one sided point of view - why else would you keep pushing your point???? I don't care what the bible says - it was written in Noahs years. Your Church has indoctrinated you into believing that you can only have a relationship with God if you follow the Bible their way. And pray, how many ways can you interperate each of the parables...??? Nah, enough of this. Join a modern Church Sweetie!! Enjoy your day.

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Sahara | 2006/07/26

Dear Deeve
I am not judgemental - I am telling you the truth and I am not forcing my ideals on you.
Its not my way - It's God's way or no way, sweetie.
Yes, I was curios!
It's your life, I know, but I just wanted to tell you what I know is a fact and what is written in the Bible.
One last question: How do you have a relationship with God - Jesus Christ - if you do not read your Bible?How did you get to know him?Cause there is no other way to get to know God other that reading your Bible.
My kids will not fall out of a closet - I can promise you!!!!
You have done nothing and I did not comment on the way you live, I just wanted to tell you this, because when you die and do not wake up in heaven,you'll never have to wonder why and you won't be able to say nobody told you
I will accept diversity in the way the Bible allows me to, no other way.
Everybody has an problem, and normally when you can or where you can you try to help.


Reply to Sahara
Posted by: Deeve | 2006/07/26

Sahara, you do appear rude and judgemental - how can you think otherwise, when you come to a GLBT forum and force your ideals on us. You haven't asked a question - its YOUR way or NO way!! No, I don't want to read your scriptures, or any other for that matter. I have a decent relationship with my God, and that's what counts.
And pray, what are you doing on a "GLBT" forum in the first place.....? Just curious, fishing, or what..???
Somehow, you need to understand one thing.....we are happy with who we are, it's YOU that has the problem, NOT us. What have we done to you that allows you to comment, or even question how we live?? Maybe you need to go read the scriptures a bit more closely, so that you can learn to accept diversity. Heaven help you one day if one of your kids decide to fall out the closet LOL Bye...

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Sahara | 2006/07/26

I do not want to be rude or judgemental.I'd just like to ask you guys a question.
How can you say that it's the way God made you?Have you ever read the Bible?Sodom en Gemora?
It's not the way God made you, please, come on.God would never create a human being - knowing that what he makes will go to hell...NEVER!!
I am not judging you, but being gay is not going God's way, I promise you. Its as good a SIN as any other.
You may hate me after this, but I'm telling you the truth and if you who say you have a relationship with God and that the Holyspirit is inside you - you would know that it is wrong!!!!
Please read the piece in the Bible of "Sodom en Gemora" and if you've read it and still believe that its right then so be it.

Reply to Sahara
Posted by: Deeve | 2006/07/26

Boertjie, You are so right!!!! Some of us took ages to figure this all out. You have put it in a nutshell here. Hope your insight helps others to understand this simple concept. We all tend to dig way too deep to find answers, when its right here in front of us. I know that my inner peace has everything to do with my own special relationship with God. I simply don't care what others think anymore. Who gives anyone else the right to judge....? Have a really good one....Cheers

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Boertjie | 2006/07/25

I would like to give you my opinion, on your last question. I am a matured christian. And considder myself to have a RELATIONSHIP with God.
We all believe that if you are a child of God, the the Holy spirit is in you. Right? Who convince us of evil, the Bible?The pastor?, no the Holy spirit in you. Therefor, this is my believe - if you have the Spirit of God In you, and you have peace about being gay, that peace is from God. Why do you think Paul says to the Romens, those who believe you can eat food that has been offered to other Gods, you are right, and those who believe you can't eat , you are also right. How can bith be right! Because the Holy spirit convince us. and he convince each of us different, cause God accept us for who we are!!! Excuse my bad english.Do'nt let the pastor or any one else confuse you. It is a matter between you and God.And if you have peace, I am sure you have the answer!

Reply to Boertjie
Posted by: excalibur | 2006/07/24

1. I suppose it can be ok if you are monagamous. I have sex with my bf without condoms. The key is to have one partner only.
2. I do it sometimes, its harmless. Its not like you are cheating, we are only human.
3. We are all plagued with that. Sometimes when i look at straight couples i wish that my life was different. But I could force myself to be different and be a hypocrite, but i choose not to any more. I sometimes want to change because of the outlook on gay ppl in general. Its a bit hard to cope in society and in the workplace. Its harder still to reconcile your sexuality with religion, but as u say God created u this way, why change that. Its your challenge to deal with everything and be who you are and not what society wants. We all can go straight and try to suppress our innate sexuality but the truth is gonna catch up with you and it would be worse in the end when your wife and kids are involved as well. So be who u are and be happy. Dont waste life with the what ifs.

Reply to excalibur

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