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Question
Posted by: S | 2005/07/27

2nd Update : Divorce, & lies & more lies

Hi,

Last night I got a call from my dad again. He wanted to know if I am ok. So I told him how I felt. He then passed the phone to my step mother. She basically told me that I am welcome to visit my dad and the children any time I want to. She also said that even though she is upset with my dad's lies, she has accepted that I am a part of him, which makes me a part of her as well.

She also told me that if I need any help or advice, I could always go to her. She says that from now on, whenever they speak or refer to their eldest child, they are refering to me. We spoke alittle while longer than we said goodbye.

About half an hour later, she phoned back. My dad was so sad because it finally dawned on him that he had truly hurt both of us by his actions. My step mother wanted me to reassure my dad that we still care about him and that we are happy that we are now getting a chance to be close to each. I told my dad this, also telling him that we need to move on from here, we need to finally be a family and be happy. He cried, I ended up crying too.

They wanted to tell me this on sunday when they came to visit but because my mom and relatives were there as well, they couldn't. Even my half-brother that is 11 years old wanted to talk to me but when he saw so many people, he shied away. So there is alot of hope that I will eventually have a bond with my siblings.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello S, sounds like you are making genuine progress, and to an extent you didn't previously believe was possible. I hope much more good comes from this, and that you will soon be able to talk with your 11 year old half brother, too. You've done well, and it sounds as though your stepmother has wisdom and strength that will be useful, and that your dad is recognizing the error of his ways. It may well have been, as I suggested before, that he had lied in the hope that it would leave everyone happier, and without realizing that it could become hurtful.
Keep us posted

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Susan | 2005/07/27

Thats really nice and Im glad for you. I hope everything goes well in the future.

Reply to Susan
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/07/27

Hi S, I'm so pleased to hear your good news. It's wonderful that you and your stepmom are coming to terms with the situation, she sounds like a very loving and mature person to say she'll refer to you as their eldest child, also to offer assistance if ever you needed it. This worked out a blessing, and these relationships should now be nurtured. All the very best to you and I hope you sort out the other issues too.

Reply to Buzz

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