Posted by: Jan | 2005/06/29

23 year old male Virgin

I'm a 23 year old male virgin. Is this normal? I had a very conservative and christian upbringing where I was taught not to have premarital sex. I have turned down many attractive girls because In my subconcious mind I have this idea that sex is evil. Most women consider me attractive, but it makes me uncomfortable when they flirt with me. I feel more comfortable talking to women who are not considered attractive by todays standards. Maybe another reason for this is that I was sexually molested: when I was 7 years old, I was forced to perform fellatio on a boy who was 10 years old. Maybe if my first and only sexual experience wasn't homosexual, I wouldn't have these problems. jan_safrika(at)

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Cogratulations, Jan, that's an excellent achievement. If your upbringing left you with a good and clear sense of values, that's good. But if it left you assuming that sex is evil, that's most unfortunate and highly inaccurate. Without sex, there would be no community, no church. Having had an unfortunately coerced first sexual experience, let alone one of the form that your upbringing would probably most disapprove of ( though also well within the normal range of behaviours, except when coerced or at that age ), could well have added to this unhelpful set of assumptions you have made. But you did nothing wrong in being a victim of coercion.
Seeing a counsellor could help a great deal to help you to understand yourself and the world better, and to prepare to take your place as an adult and sexual being, and to be able to enter into a happy long-term relationship, and more happy in accepting yourself.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Penny | 2005/06/30

You are not abnormal just because you are still a virgin. During the course of my life I have come across many virgins who are 21 yrs and older. What does a child of 15 yrs know about sex? Be patient, you will find that special someone one day. You shouldn't have any hang-ups about being a virgin.

Reply to Penny
Posted by: Joanne E | 2005/06/30

sex is a special gift from god - intended for a husband and wife. the girl you marry will be happy that you are not coming to her second hand

Reply to Joanne E
Posted by: Male23 | 2005/06/30

Jan, let me start by saying SEX IS NOT EVIL,its a special gift from God. Its when you marry the girl you love and you give her all of you, thats the most wonderful gift you can give or receive. Remember, your body is the temple of God,and some people walk around with an "available bord" on them, thats when sex become evil..... So for you to be 23 virgin is 100% normal.

Should you marry some day and still suffer the same problem, then i think you're right, maybe another reason for this is that you were sexually molested. Only then i would see it as abnormal and would advise you to go for pro-help.

Good luck my friend! x x x

Reply to Male23

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.