Our expert says:
Cogratulations, Jan, that's an excellent achievement. If your upbringing left you with a good and clear sense of values, that's good. But if it left you assuming that sex is evil, that's most unfortunate and highly inaccurate. Without sex, there would be no community, no church. Having had an unfortunately coerced first sexual experience, let alone one of the form that your upbringing would probably most disapprove of ( though also well within the normal range of behaviours, except when coerced or at that age ), could well have added to this unhelpful set of assumptions you have made. But you did nothing wrong in being a victim of coercion.
Seeing a counsellor could help a great deal to help you to understand yourself and the world better, and to prepare to take your place as an adult and sexual being, and to be able to enter into a happy long-term relationship, and more happy in accepting yourself.
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