Posted by: tinawina | 2008/12/08

2 year old and funeral

My gran has died and i dont want to take my 2 yr old son to the funeral. He was extremely traumatized the day she died and slept with me. My parents of course of very upset but i feel he is too young to understand what is going on. I have a family of drama queens (fainting and wanting to jump into the grave). I dont feel i should put him thru that. Not sure what to do as this is causing serious arguments with my parents. They feel he should be there.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It can be useful for a child to attand funerals and learn more about death, but 2 is rather young ( they often at this age don't even reconize death as permanent ) and it would be needlessly upsetting if the drama queens are going to perform. Explain to him what will happen, leave him with someone calm and responsible, and allow him his own tome to talk about gran and how he feels about it. Its not up to your parents to decide about this.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ok | 2008/12/09

I agree with CS altho, when my Dad passed on we took my nephew to the funeral. He somehow understood what was going on and even gave him some closure. He knows that his Grandfather is buried and has come to terms with it.

Reply to ok
Posted by: tinawina | 2008/12/08

Thank you. Going to leave him at home with his father.

Reply to tinawina
Posted by: Nozi | 2008/12/08

Let the dead bury the dead.Sorry but please put your son' s life first here, these are his crucial years, explain where gran is and leave him at home.
Let the dramma queens jump in who wants to remember all that, not for a child to see, that alone will trumatise him.

Reply to Nozi

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