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Question
Posted by: JOY | 2007/03/30

2 JOYS???????

Seems there is another Joy nic on here. The Joy that upset MM, is not me. I am JOY with CAPS, however best i change my nick as I am not in the habit of upsetting people that I don't know.

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And here I thought we could never experience too much joy !

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Our users say:
Posted by: MM | 2007/03/30

Hi Joy/Mrs Jones
Thanks for anwering my question - I really appreciate it. Back then we never actually broke up - At the time I was angry with him because he didnt go to my matric ball because of a stupid suite his parents didnt want to buy him. They moved and I finished school then. I was in touch with his brother off and on and was told that he always asked about me and me likewise. So when I found out that my husband was cheating, I thougth of him a lot and contacted his brother and his mother gave me my ex's number instead by mistake. We started talking on the phone each day and saw each other on Wednesday for the first time again but the spark is still there. I married my husband for all the wrong reasons - I wanted to get out of the house, he was promising everything I needed at the time......Because he was so dedicated to me at the time I made a promise to myself to commit to our marraige and that was was I did for 17 years and my reward was my husband cheating. Its not that he wasnt aware of this I told him this from the start that I was still in love with my ex but he half forced me into marrying me at the time threathing suicide - so yes ultimately I suppose I should have expected this.............and yes I learned to love him which makes it more painfull.
So Mrs Jones I know exactly what u r feeling and it is pure hell at the moment with the conflicting emotions. The fact that getting involved with a married man, who is also my ex, might be lethal to me at this point in time is also very tempting. I took the initiative and went for counselling with my husband to 2 people already but he believes that he doesnt have a problem and refuses to speak about why he did it. The trust has been broken and I dont know if I ever will be able to forgive him as he shows no remorse.....

Reply to MM
Posted by: Mrs Jones | 2007/03/30

I'm married, under 30 yrs and have been having an affair with a married man for the last 3 years. I really need help to sort out this mess that I have gotten myself in. I have ended this affair about 15 times in the last 3 years. The last time was a few weeks ago, but we are back together again. I'm not happy in my marriage, I should've never gotten married in the first place. My husband is a wonderful person, but I don't think he is the person for me. He on the other hand does not see us apart as an option. I have told him I am unhappy, and I have suggested that we should rather seperate and be happy parents for our childs sake, than be miserable together. He does not see it that way. So now, I have accepted that I made a bad decision to get married, and am living this deceitful life and I am hating myself everyday. I am trying to just make the best of an otherwise bad situation. I am pretending all day, like I'm the happiest person in the world, so that my child does not have to pay for my bad decisions. My lover and I do have strong feelings for each other, but I don't see myself with him... at least not in the near future. I feel like I should sort myself and my child out first.... I got married very soon after a previous long term relationship ended. I feel so guilty for so many decisions I have made and I want to rectify it, before its too late. I just don't know where too start. My lover and I work at the same place. I think of all the people I would disappoint when they find out that either we are getting divorced, or that I am having an affair.

Reply to Mrs Jones
Posted by: Joy | 2007/03/30

Hi i'm the other one..i said shocking because it just is rather suprising that after being married for 17 years you'd hook up with an ex..he was an ex for a reason surely, and you are completely different people now arent you?? I think suprising is the better word. Not judging you, just curious

Reply to Joy
Posted by: JOY | 2007/03/30

MM you do whatever will make you happy, you deserve it!

Reply to JOY
Posted by: MM | 2007/03/30

Hi JOY - No I am not upset I just cant understand why the other Joy say "schocking" - in what context - I am not upset just confussed.

Reply to MM

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