Posted by: In need of tips | 2009/01/29

1st time didn' t go right

My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Our foreplay is much better and I want to know how to improve.
I had a hard time keeping him inside me. Is there a method of pulsing so that it doesn' t fall out?
Also, he is the smallest I' ve come into contact with. I don' t know if this is why I couldn' t feel him or something else.
The other thing is that he' s never hard like a rock. This makes it hard to get it in and, honestly, even know if his erection is still there.
He' s the first guy I' ve actually really cared about and I want our sex to be good too. Help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Okay, you've asked a few questions so I will try to address them one by one:
Regarding your b/f's soft erection, if he has problems with losing his erection during foreplay or other stimulation too, then he probably need to have a medical check up to make sure that he is okay physically. If he comes back with an 'all clear', or he is able to become and stay hard at other times, it is likely that he is suffering from performance anxiety. This is due to the pressure that he, you, or both of you, put on him to 'perform' well sexually. In this instance he could either get a prescription for something like Viagra, Cialis or Levitra from a doctor, or you could both see a sexologist for assistance.

Regarding his size, is it that he is soft and therefore not fully erect? Most men have a penis of about 10-12 cms in length and round about the size of the circle you make when you touch your thumb and index finger in width. Given that your vagina is soft supple tissue surrounded by strong muscles, it shouldn't make much difference if he IS smaller than this - if you think about it, tampons are much smaller than this and they don't fall out! What you can do is practice tensing and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles (kegels exercises - see and then do this during penetrative intercourse, it can improve the sensation you feel and potentially also tone the muscles a little to hold his penis firmer.

Finally, regarding keeping him inside me, it may be a combination of the above that contributes to this, but it may also be that he/you are thrusting too long a stroke and the penis is leaving the vagina. Try shorter thrusts - this can also be very stimulating.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: In need of tips | 2009/01/29

Aaah! OK, this is not helping. I do NOT want to leave him because I love him. But, yes, sex is really important in a relationship, especially for me because I have a large libido. But I' ve been with guys where it was just about the sex, and (even if it' s enjoyable) a specific feeling of intimacy is seriously missing. I feel so much better about myself and less trampy when I' m with someone I love. I refuse to believe that this is just because he' s too small. Thank you, RP, I will try more foreplay first. There was a pause when I was getting the condom and maybe his erection went away during that time. Can I have more advice along RP' s line (as in what I could improve during sex and not whether I should leave him or not).

Reply to In need of tips
Posted by: Natz | 2009/01/29

Hey, say what you want, sex is VERY important in a marraige. I would never be with or marry a man with a small dick. Lady Man, you sound like another guy with a small willy....It' s NOT the motion of the ocean, it is the size that counts too. I want to FEEL a man, but also don' t expect him to hurt me either. But I do need to feel him.

Reply to Natz
Posted by: Lady man | 2009/01/29

Hi In need of tips

It is not what you have but what can you do with what you have.
In need of tips, think a bit maybe there is more to him than the size of his willy. Sex in certenally not the most important think in any relationship. Think about the possitives about him.

Reply to Lady man
Posted by: joe | 2009/01/29


Reply to joe
Posted by: leave | 2009/01/29

I still think a vibrator is a better option...or jsut leave him.

you have to decide whether you want to be stuck with a small dick man for the rest of your life or not ...what is worse is that you know what a real dick feels like so it is going to be extra hard for you..

I think is unfair like that...just leave him and avoid trying to fix another woman' s child...

The vabrator and a real thing which one is going to have a damn choice i say leave him...

Reply to leave
Posted by: RP | 2009/01/29

Sounds like he has not got an erection yet - hence size is lacking too. He may need more foreplay before you try put it in.

Reply to RP

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