Posted by: angela | 2009/03/05

16 and pregnant

Please help I am a very desperate mom right now.

I am a single mom and I have found out my 16 year old daughter is pregnant by a 25 year old, who is currently unemployed. Does anybody know what my rights are as her mom. Can i claim maintenance from him or his parents as he is unemployed, do we have to register him as the biological father of the baby in order to claim maintenance. Will i be the legal guardian of the child as my daughter is so young?

I' m really devestated as my daughter is in matric and is doing very well and is due in September, the man is a very negative influence in my childs life and still has not even contacted me or anything about the pregnancy, he is disrespectful and tries to call the shots in my childs life, even to the extent of wanting me to change doctors for her even though it is me that is paying. In december they ran away together and it was only due to the outstanding performance of the police that I got her back as qickly as I did. She is a lovely girl who has just fallen in with the wrong boy who now controlls her in every possible way. I know if i try get a restraining order against him there is a good chance they will run again and this time i worry we won' t find them.

Any advice please?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi Angela,

your daughter and her boyfriend will be the legal guardians of the child, unless Social Services deemed them unfit to parent, and in those circumstances the child would be removed as a worse case scenario. If the father is not prepared to be involved and you need to claim maintenance, it would need to be your daughter primarily making this claim.

It is unfortunate that relationships are so strained, as when the baby arrives they are going to need all of you as a family for support. Although you have issues with your daughters boyfriend he is the father of the child and hopefully he will want to take an active and positive role in the childs life. Trying to exclude the father can be very detrimental to the child both now and in the future. If at all possible you need to think about trying to find a way for you all to get along for the sake of the child so that both the baby and your daughter get what they need. This is not always possible but it is important to at least try.

A good mediating service is FAMSA and you can contact them via their website at

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/15

Please contact me urgently. thank you Charm

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