Our expert says:
I agree with Lin. You and your husband need to devise and clarify a relatively short list of home and family rules, so as to be consistent about them ; if the boy consistently keeps to those rules. let there be a modest scale of benefits or rewards ; and a plan of specific penalties and loss of privileges when he breaks the rules. Such rules would include not lying, and doing whatever homework is prescribed / required. And as Lin says, concentrate on praise and good feelings whenever he tells the truth and DOES do what's needed, so he learns to feel good about behaving well.
And I like aNNa's point about choosing the questions --- not "Do you have homework?" but "Show me what homework you have today".
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