Our expert says:
given what you describe here you have to ask yourself who is in control here? It sounds like you are being heavily manipulated as well as being lied to and that there is a need for strong consistent boundaries. In the early teens there is a great deal of boundary testing and when those boundaries collapse when tested then further pushing will take place.
With homework I suggest you contact the school, and ideally the school counsellor if there is one to come up with a schedule to monitor what homework is set so that he cannot lie to you. As for other boundaries it is about no meaning no, and when there need to be consequences that these are realistic and that you as the parent feel able to stick to them and see them through.
You need to take the control back and make it very clear who the parent is - from this point relationships can improve. Having no boundaries despite how attractive it may look is a very unsettling place for a young person.
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