Our expert says:
it sounds as if your daughter is entering the early stages of adolescence and a lot of the behaviours you describe typify this period.
However, parental authority needs to be maintained and your boundaries decided upon and stuck to. Be aware that there is a need for these boundaries to shift over time as your daughter matures - but here comes that old phrase - freedom comes with responsibility, so there is very much the need for your daughter to respect the authority of you as her parent. You do not say why your daughter moved to live with her father, but beware of her wanting to switch parents each time she doesnt getr her own way. Also, as much as possible you and her father need to work together and have common goals in terms of discipline, otherwise she will most definitely take the gap and split you.
Suitable consequences for unacceptable behaviours also need to be considered - but ensure these are realistic and that they can be sen through to the end - otherwise they become empty threats which your daughter will disregard. If the problems persist, you should also consider her seeing a child therapist as these acting out behaviours could also indicate emotional difficulties. The presentation of anger on the surface often relates to sadness underneath.
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