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Question
Posted by: SS | 2006/04/21

11 too old?

Parents with 11 year old kids, please assist me. What chores can you expect from an 11 year old girl to do in and around the house? Silly question? Maybe but my bf and I seem to disagree on what his daughter can or can't do. It is expected of my 17 year old kid to: make the bed, wash dished, lay the table, clean the kitchen, wash the bath, clean the bedroom, tidy up, make coffee, pick rubble up in the garden, sweep, dish up etc etc. So what can an 11 year old do, and what not. What are yours doing?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, no roof-tiling, major bricklaying, bus-driving or plumbing. Surely your arhuments are about what she SHOULD do, rather than what she CAN do. I can't see anything in your list of what is expected of the 17-year-old, which the younger kid would not be perfectly capable of doing --- why can't they share the load ? Sounds like the younger kid is a pampered and spoilt little brat.
Must say, I found the response of "Proud, proud Dad" irresistable !

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Our users say:
Posted by: lady nina | 2006/04/21

hi there

my 10 year old daughter is expected to the following
clean her room , make her bed, keep the cupboards neat,
hang up the washing and take it down
clean the bathroom after she is done - this means picking up the cloths do the handy andy thing and dry the floor and pack away all the stuff

she seems to cope 90% of the time - i don't expect her to have the room tidy before we leave for school but she seems to lperfer it

she can also cook a pasta dish, make coffee for visitors, take the rubbish out, stake the dirty dishes away

i'm happy and so is she ..for now

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Ltd | 2006/04/21

Chores are a good thing, but it sounds like your 17 year old is slaving away.
Children should be responsible for cleaning and tidying their own areas and after bathing they should leave the bathroom clean.
Then they should HELP with dishes and other things at the same time the parents are doing it. Then it's a family thing and the job gets done in half the amount of time.

Reply to Ltd
Posted by: Proud, proud Dad | 2006/04/21

My little Bruce is too much of a genius to expect him to bugger around with dishes, toilets, ironing, et al. He builds rockets, tunes my BMW and builds antennae to detect extra- terrestial intelligence. Maybe you parents are distracting your kids with mundane chores. Rather feed their intellects!

Reply to Proud, proud Dad
Posted by: Delene | 2006/04/21

The donald. I am not stupid, I supervise her. Thanx anyway, but it was not me who asked for advice. The point was that kids can do much more than we think.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: monks | 2006/04/21

my son is 9 and he is in training for washing dishes..11 years she is old enough to do washing and cooking...with us blacks we start cleaning as early as 5..i suggest you talk with your husband bcos children can sometimes cause tension in the family.

Reply to monks
Posted by: Kate | 2006/04/21

Bf has a 5 year old. She is expected to make her bed, keep her room tidy, clean up after herself, put any dirty dishes in the sink, tidy the bathroom when she's finished. Like Delene said, she doesnt do it perfectly I go in after and help her, but she already knows what is expected and as she gets older she will learn to do it properly.

Reply to Kate
Posted by: the donald | 2006/04/21

Delene, a 7 year old kid using a stove and boiling a egg?
Be careful...if that child gets hurt it will be with you for the rest of your life!!!!!

I must say i am quite surprised.

Reply to the donald
Posted by: Delene | 2006/04/21

My daughter is 11 and I can honestly say she can do almost as much as me. If I am not there, she can take over. She cleans, she can cook certain things. She can do washing (not ironing) She can fold the clothes, pack it away. 11 is really big. They dont do it perfectly, but they CAN.
My 7 year old usually dries the dished . She can fry an egg. Pack lunch for them for school, vacume the carpets. Dusting ...usually cleans the bathroom & washes the bath & floor and she is only 7.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: WOW | 2006/04/21

Your bf is treating her like a baby! Is she still in nappies? My word what a shame! I agree with Selco an 11 yr old can do anything a 17 yr old can do. If he expects your kid to do things around the house, his kid should be expected the same of. By this age they are on the same level with chores in and around the house. Good luck with this BIG BABY!

Reply to WOW
Posted by: Frank lee | 2006/04/21

My girls are 11 and 13. For the past 2 years already they have their kitchen duties. They in the past had to wash dishes, wipe the counters and pack away the dishes when they are dry - we now have a dishwasher and they still have to load it and pack away when it's done and wash dishes that are too big. They have to keep their room tidy, they wash the bath when they are done.

I don't expect them to clean the garden but they do help with watering and they sometimes offer to clean the pool and the jacuzzi, but it is not expected.

They also have to ALWAYS clean up after themselves.

It's called basic self respect and discipline.

Reply to Frank lee
Posted by: Frank lee | 2006/04/21

My girls are 11 and 13. For the past 2 years already they have their kitchen duties. They in the past had to wash dishes, wipe the counters and pack away the dishes when they are dry - we now have a dishwasher and they still have to load it and pack away when it's done and wash dishes that are too big. They have to keep their room tidy, they wash the bath when they are done.

I don't expect them to clean the garden but they do help with watering and they sometimes offer to clean the pool and the jacuzzi, but it is not expected.

They also have to ALWAYS clean up after themselves.

It's called basic self respect and discipline.

Reply to Frank lee
Posted by: selco | 2006/04/21

everything the 17 year old can do...they can actually asist one another in doing it...

Reply to selco

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