Posted by: Paul (tm) | 2007/06/11

1 partner no sex

Hi doc,

what can we do if one party in a relationship is not into sex anymore and the other party craves it all the time. She reasons that weve grown apart in that sense. Its not completely gone ,but varies between 1nce every 30 - 45 days.

Do all ppl not need sex?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Mariage/relationship counselling is the obvious answer ; and if this situation has change ( you say "not into sex ANYMORE ) also a shrink's assessment as to why this change has occurred, as there could be numerous reasons, almost all o which could be relieved or improved

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Our users say:
Posted by: Dude | 2007/06/11

if u in this situation and r in the process of giving her access to one account the term idiot comes to mind...

lets just say when she does eventually snap out of it and greed takes over, dont get to depressed when shes run away with hulio and cleaned u out...

love makes people do silly things but one needs to catch a wake up ...

move on or move into the dog box.

Reply to Dude
Posted by: Eva | 2007/06/11

Paul - sumtimes there is sumting such as trying to hard. Sum woman like to be kept on their toes n if they are in a relationship which is predictable the ussually get bored.

Reply to Eva
Posted by: PAul | 2007/06/11


She swears she isn't.

This just has to work out, we re converting our joint bond into a one account to be able to help with our kak finances (our fault). I really want to be with her. So i don't even want to imagine, having a one account with a woman that does not love me. I try so invariably hard, and seem to mess it up in a day.

I tell you sometimes I feel like getting in the car driving till the gas runs out, then walking till I collapse, take something and wait for deaths warm embrace to take me to the arms of my Heavenly Father, where there is love and acceptance in abundance.

I love her with my whole heart.

If she is seeing someone else, and it comes out (which I doubt) there will be alot of blood on their hands.

Reply to PAul
Posted by: Keanu | 2007/06/11

Paul you sure she's not seeing someone else?

Reply to Keanu
Posted by: Dude | 2007/06/11


u shud move on mate, if uz womin wont give it to u its like her way of telling u to go get it elsewhere, if the love is gone then u just waisting time b4 u die tryna recindle a flame from ashes.......

ers so many horny girls out there, y not subscribe to adult finder or somethin, being single doesn't mean u gonna be lonely

Reply to Dude
Posted by: Ruby | 2007/06/11

Paul I know you don't want to hear this but maybe you must accept that this is over.

From what I've read in the past about your situation I don't think that this lady will have sex with you just because. And because she feels the way she does, I really don't think that you will easily get her to have sex with you again soon.

For woman, sex is mostly a emotional thing and if the emotions are not there, the sex also disappears.

Yes I know it will be very hard to let go, but believe me there is life after this woman and you will learn to go on and yes I am sure you will be happy again.

Make the decision today to move on and start doing so. You guys are waisting each other's time here by hanging on onto something that definitely is not working.

Good luck my friend. It is really not going to be easy but perhaps it's now the time to just let go.

Reply to Ruby
Posted by: Paul | 2007/06/11

Thanks for the advicse guys, my situation boils down to he emotional side not being right.

she does not love me anymore, Ive tried flowers, ive tried poetry, ive also tried candle lit baths where I will just sit with her and we talk.

My entire system revolves trying to get her spark back, its been 32 days now. and unfortunately I do get horny and then mess things up, putting me back on square one.

Masturbation does not help, I love her and want it from her, not from duty but from wanting to please me.

Been together for 3 years, life together in co - ownded sectional title, raising her boy which is now 6.

Im trying my best here to be a good father, lover, supporter and partner.

Reply to Paul
Posted by: pp | 2007/06/11

Hi Alsointhesameboat I was also the same I am a man but shy to start initiating sex as I dont know if my partner will react so a lot of times are wasted when we would both like to have sex but neither one starts it. I confronted my partner and she said that when she was in the mood she would let me know and since then our sex life has been great. so instead of sitting there waiting for the Tv take the initiative and jump his bones I think you would both enjoy it. I know I do...

Reply to pp
Posted by: alsointhesameboat | 2007/06/11

Keanu. I asked him the other day how many times he thinks he'd like to have sex with me tonight (via sms) and he replied 1 million x 1 million<br><br>So what is the problem then ?

Reply to alsointhesameboat
Posted by: Keanu | 2007/06/11

I agree with SR, but not entirely with alsointhesameboat. There could be a number of reasons which of course could be related to either party. First do some introspect and see if maybe the problem lies with you. This can only be done through effective communication. From your posting however I doubt that you're the problem, seeing that you crave for sex all the time meaning that you won't be having a problem even if its happening in her own time.

Arrange some special night with candle lights, etc and see how it goes. Maybe propose a suppliment, she might have a low libido. None the less the keyword is COMMUNICATION.

Reply to Keanu
Posted by: Alsointhesameboat | 2007/06/11

Maybe she feels like I do. She still want's it just not in your time but her own. I also crave to have the sex we once had or as often. The problem is my husband would rather sit in front of the tv till he dozes of and then when he comes to bed he wants sex by that time I've waited an hour and I am not in the mood anymore.

Or he wakes up in the morning with a morning glory and then he wants to. That time of the morning I do not feel pretty and kissing turns me on and in the morning you have that wonderful breath so you don't want to kiss and if I don't get kissed it's like just getting on and off.

You need to find out what she would like, when she would like it and how she would like it.

Make an effort and when you make her happy she'll sure as hell make you happy.

Good Luck

Reply to Alsointhesameboat
Posted by: SR | 2007/06/11

Hey Paul,

Sex is the most healthiest way of expressing intimacy and adds to other areas in the relationship.

If your partner has gone off sex then you must look at the reasons, it could be a myriad of reasons .... but if its because you are not sexually stimulating to your partner anymore or do not please them then discuss this.

How old are you and why do you think you have grown apart?

Reply to SR

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