Updated 05 November 2014

Fat like me? Brandon's back!

Health24's fat fighter has returned after four weeks of silence with an update on his CrossFit journey.

What used to be a 120kg man started CrossFit training and, 10 weeks later, Brandon Faber is back to tell us about his weight loss journey.

Read: 120kg and CrossFitting

Listen to Brandon's song of the week

Here's what Brandon's been up to over the last four weeks:

Fat Like Me? “The Expandables”

Tens of you have been writing to Health24, wondering where I have been.
It’s been four weeks of silence, four weeks of apathy . . . four weeks of abject failure, as it turns out.                       

I’ve looked everywhere for an excuse that would hold water, that would help save my round face – alas, short of blaming my inactivity on apartheid or, perhaps, alien abduction – there’s no salvation, no Mac Maharaj spin, no army of “fall guys” that can save me from myself.

Unmitigated nightmare

In the last month I’ve taken two steps back, faltering like press-freedom in the dark corridors of the SABC (and ETV, allegedly).

Some would say that “two steps forward and two steps back is actually more like doing the cha-cha”, and that’s how I’d prefer to look at it, if only the return of my second chin wasn’t such a stark and obvious reminder of my miserable failure to see things through.

Never break momentum

Alas, after stopping my visits to CrossFit in Fourways (due to the logistics) and, after promising myself every single week since that I would go to a new studio right around the corner from my house, I have done nothing, nada, zero, zip.

Anyway, I’d have liked to put Joburg’s notoriously k*k traffic, or my mounting workload forward as mitigating circumstances but, in reality, those excuses are as flimsy as thinking Spiderman scaled the wall of my security-estate-protected mansion, climbing through a tiny toilet window before locking himself inside and subsequently falling prey to the worst game of hide and seek since a few sexually promiscuous teenagers had a collective bad dream on Elm Street . . .


Ja, so no Oscar for “best performance in a cheesy horror flick” for me.

Less Spin, more spinning

Here I stand before you then today ladies and gentlemen, 2kgs heavier than the last time we spoke and, most certainly, a few breaths short of where my fitness was (what seems like) an age ago.

I will remedy this, however.

Like an (overweight) phoenix I will rise from the ashes of my last braai and, flapping with the ferocity of a thousand Julius Malemas, I shall renew my quest for – what is now, an 18 kilogram loss.

This weekend I will mount a new assault on the flab that follows me. I shall climb upon my spider web-entwined exercise bike and start a fresh campaign against the chronic melancholy that has characterised the past 30 fitness-free days.

Yes nation, I admit that I have failed, faltered, fallen short of every goal set. For the tens of you who have written to News24 asking where I have been . . . the next month’s effort will be for you!

Let’s go (again).

Get in touch with Brandon

Follow Brandon's journey here:
Week 1: 120 kg and CrossFitting
Week 2: Brandon fights the pain
Week 3: Brandon keeps going
Week 4: The journey continues
Week 5: 120kg going down
Week 6: Confessions of a dieter


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