Updated 01 April 2016

Trump: Make America beautiful again

Donald Trump announced that, were he to be elected President of the United States in this year’s election, he would pass laws allowing the government to pay for birth control, but only for “ugly” women.


The announcement, which took Trump’s already shocking campaign to new heights, comes in the wake of his claims that women should be “punished” for having abortions. In an interesting juxtaposition not common even amongst conservatives, the prospective Republican nominee is vehemently opposed to abortion but happily supports female contraception.

“I believe there is a problem” he said on a Raleigh, South Carolina stage last night, “and that problem is that we have lost control over reproduction in our country. We have lost control over how much people are reproducing, and we have lost control over what kinds of people are reproducing.” Cheered on by a rapturous crowd.

Read: The Pill's effectiveness overestimated

Trump then laid out the criteria for who he believes should be encouraged to reproduce: “I believe, and I would probably say that most of you here with me tonight believe, that it should be the beautiful who are encouraged to create new, uh, Americans and the ugly well they should not!” Each of the words of his last sentence he punctuated with a slap of the podium.

“I would say anybody in our nation who is less than a 6, a 6 out of 10, well then they should maybe be thinking twice about bringing new people into our country. And I would say thank you to those people, and I will help you by bringing you free contraception. You can have as many pills as you like and you can continue in your private life and you can continue to make this America the one we want it to be.”

Read: How Trump is leading America by the nose 

The New York property mogul did not elaborate on just how the 1 to 10 beauty scale would be defined, but sought to reassure voters and critics alike by saying that special training would be provided to those in charge of distributing the contraceptive pills. This training, he said, would be administered by his daughter Ivanka Trump, whose beauty he has trumpeted in the past.

“We need to ask ourselves, do we want our towns and our cities filled with buck-teeth and webbed feet? Do you want to go to the bank and find yourself looking over at someone with eyes a little too close together, or a big ol’ gut?” This elicited roars from the crowd, many seemingly unaware that they would be the target of the proposed legislation, many a large gut being on display in the town hall.

“I can proudly say that I don’t, and by encouraging the beautiful to, uh, mate, and the ugly to not we can make a difference, and get rid of the spotty-skinned pale freaks that Obama has filled our country with.”

The 69-year old made no mention of baldness throughout the night, and it’s unclear how his daughter’s training will assess this common aesthetic issue.

“Together we can not only make America great again,” he said, repeating his campaign slogan, “but we can make America beautiful again.” 

Read more: 

Most Catholic women use birth control 

HIV risks with some birth control 

Birth control: drama more persuasive 


More by Cybershrink

2013-02-09 07:27



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