You thought stress didn’t get any worse than when you wrote your final matric exams, had to choose a career, or when you had boyfriend problems. Well, think again.

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Then, of course, few things can rival getting driver’s license. Just thinking about it probably sends your blood pressure through the roof.

But, although you are no longer a minor at age 18, you are not a proper adult unless you’ve survived your 21st birthday party.

Here are some tips on how to avoid the celebrations turning into a nightmare:

• The cost. Find out exactly how much money you can spend, and plan accordingly. Remember you have to pay for a venue, food, drink, music, an outfit – these things don’t come cheap.
• The invitations. Prepare yourself for the fact that there will be pictures of you as a teen and as a baby on these. Hide away the baby pictures that you don’t want everyone to see and make use of the photos on which you look cute and sweet. Put a teen photo on the front and a baby pic at the back – maybe they won’t look at it.
• The guest list. You must also be involved in choosing the guests – don’t forget your friends. Remove from the list the aunts, uncles and cousins that you have never met. Give your parents a set number of friends and family members they can invite. Even the largest venue can only take so many people.
• The venue. Choose a venue with enough space in which to dance. Make sure there is safe parking and that it can take the number of guests you have invited. When it comes to decorating the venue, don’t make it look like a kid’s birthday party. You’re all grown up now. White and pink are out – so are white and silver. Remember that this is not a wedding reception. Go for a colour scheme that is original and different.
• Seating arrangements. Use round tables rather than long ones. Firstly, you can fit in more people, and secondly, it is more sociable. Seat age groups together – they are more likely to have something to say to each other.
• The menu. Have a simple menu. You don’t want your guests feeling like they are contestants on Fear Factor. Serve food that is easy to eat – soup and salads could be difficult. And not everyone is dieting. They want to enjoy themselves.
• The music. You have to choose the music you like. It’s your party, after all. No ancient LPs from your mother’s collection – imagine the embarrassment. Make sure that your music is hip and funky - people want to dance. Stay away from country music.
• Your outfit. Wear what you like and what you feel comfortable in. Your mother may want to dress you up in something she likes, but she is not the next David Tlale. But the key word here is comfort. It must also be the kind of thing that you can wear when you are invited to another special occasion. Don’t pitch up looking like Kelly Khumalo. You don’t want to shock the elders of the family. You will feel more comfortable if you look presentable.

Final tips. Try and remember that this is your day. Don’t get lost in all the arrangements, so that you end up being so exhausted you cannot enjoy your own party. And smile, because there will be many lenses focused on you.

(Tandeka Bafo, Health24, August 2007)

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