I thought I should try to look after my health while camping in the famous red dust and dorings at Oppikoppi music festival.

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So I took a sachet of tuna, an orange, two snack bars, and assorted vitamins. However, I also thought I should allow myself some fun. So, I took some very synthetic cheese triangles, a fuzzy navel in a can, a six pack of beers, White Russian ingredients and a bottle of red wine also made it into my backpack.

I drank the beer, the wine, the black Russians, the fuzzy naval, half a bottle of OBs that someone shared with me, and the cheese (it liquefies in midday heat). I ate the Nick Knacks. I also ate three vetkoeke, a pizza and something resembling a schwarma, but tasting rather more alive than I'm into, and a few mouthfuls of dust...

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