Parents who put off discussing sex with their kids may miss an opportunity to play an important role in when their children decide to have sex, says a new study.
A team of researchers from the University of Minnesota have published two studies examining when teens first have sex and how their relationship with their parents influences that.
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They found that how involved a parent is in a child's life plays the biggest role in influencing when young teens will have sex.
Over 12% 13-15 year olds experimented with sex The first study, published in the Archives of Paediatric and Adolescent Medicine, surveyed over 3 000 teens between the ages of 13 to 15 who said they were virgins.
The second study, published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, was based on the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, a federal investigation of teen behaviour. This research examined interviews with 2 006 teens aged 14-15 who said they were virgins.
The researchers also interviewed one of the parents of each child, usually the mother.
After the 18-month follow-up period, the researchers found that 12.5% of the 13-15 year-olds had sex for the first time, while 20% of 14-15 year-olds had sex.
Parent's attitude makes a difference Most of the mothers strongly disapproved of their teen having sex, the report says, and teen girls who felt their parents strongly disapproved were much less likely to try sex, suggesting that mothers matter more than they might sometimes believe.
The same impact was not found for mothers and sons, and researchers concluded that other influences, such as friends, simply may be stronger for boys.
However, many teens did not realise that their parents felt so strongly.
They found that 30% of girls and 45% of boys whose mothers strongly disapproved of sex did not believe their mothers cared that much.
"Parents and especially mothers should be aware of the role they play in influencing their adolescent daughter's sexual behaviours," said study author Dr Robert Blum, director of the University of Minnesota's Centre for Adolescent Health and Development. "Parents need to be clear about their values and then clearly articulate them to their children and adolescents."
Half mothers do not realise children are having sex Parents may also overestimate their involvement in children's lives and subsequently not be in touch with what their child is doing.
The survey of the 14-15 year olds found that 97% of mothers could tell when their children were not having sex, but only half of all mothers realised that their high school children were having sex.
"We need to be more tuned in to what's happening in our children's lives," Blum said. "Otherwise, how can we give them clear, effective messages about how to deal with the choices they will inevitably face?"
Advice for talking about sex South African teen HIV awareness campaign loveLife has found that less than half of parents talk to their children about sex.
loveLife's research has consistently found that young people first want to hear about sex from their parents, and want a continuing conversation with them about issues of life, relationships, sex and sexuality.
loveLife advises that talking about sex and sexuality should be a continuing conversation. Parents need to both listen and talk to their children. They say that maintaining open and honest communication is more important than getting your children to see things your way. – (Health24)
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