Plenty of women use sex toys in their own masturbation play. But why not include your partner in the fun? There are many options on the market from toys that are built for two.
It's easy to get overwhelmed by this plethora of gadgets and gizmos. So in order to get comfortable with yourself, masturbate on your own to learn about the kind of sex toy and stimulation you like the best.
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Many women, some estimates put it at 70%, have more orgasmic response with clitoral stimulation. Most vibrators are specifically designed for the clitoris. But you'll find there are many options beyond that.
You'll also want to experiment with the type of vibration as well. Some toys have stronger vibes than others and some now even have pulsing options.
Is it cheating?
It's usually easier to experiment on your own through masturbation and then apply that to your partnered relationship. However, that doesn't work for everyone.
Sometimes there is the concern that masturbating with a toy without the involvement of your partner gives the impression that you didn't "need" them sexually anymore, some even equate it to cheating on their partners.
Sex toys are not meant to replace anyone, they can be used to expand and enrich your sex life. And there are many men who are tired of initiating everything sexual in their relationships; in fact it would be a turn-on for them to have their partner add something new.
Ultimately, you know your relationship best. If your partner is someone you feel comfortable enough with to just surprise them one evening, then go for it. If you're concerned about one of the issues above, perhaps shop for a vibe together.
Get your partner involved in the process
You can both begin to experiment in the ways you'd like to use toys. Some get aroused watching their partners use a sex toy in front of them. It's a great way to teach them how to use the vibe on you. Consider it a project you can do together.
Finding ways to bring up the subject of using a sex toy may difficult. Many people find just bringing up the subject intimidating. Even couples with the best communication skills find it difficult to discuss sex. Perhaps you can whisper the idea in your partner's ear during your next sexual encounter, bring up that you've fantasised about your partner using a vibrator on you, or go on-line and begin exploring the world of sex toys one evening over a glass of wine.
Open communication
Communicating your sexual desires can not only bring you more sexual satisfaction but can also deepen your relationship as a whole. It can bring you both to a new level of intimacy that you can explore together. Adding a toy to your sexual repertoire is a good place to start.
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