Telltale signs of cheating
Last updated: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 PrintIf your partner's behaviour is suddenly changing and you're not sure why, it may be that he is having an affair.
The telltale signs below are just as valid for women as they are for men, so read 'he/she' wherever 'he' is used. A sexologist takes a look at some of the classic signs of cheating:
- There are changes in his behaviour and routines.
- He begins exercising, especially jogging. (He may be heading for another woman’s house.)
- He stops having sex with you, initiates more sex, or begins new sex behaviours.
- He starts watching what he eats or goes on a diet.
- He buys new clothes.
- He gets nervous when the phone rings. When he answers it, he speaks softly.
- He works late unusually often and over weekends.
- He finds reasons to stay away overnight.
- If he travels for business, he won’t share his itinerary, flight or hotel information. He yells at you for asking where he will be and when he will return. He says he can’t be reached.
- He goes off alone for periods during the weekend, giving some lame excuse.
- He gets nasty or defensive when you ask him when he’ll be home or where is he going.
- He begins misplacing credit card receipts, phone bills, cell phone printouts, etc.
- He leaves his cell phone on voice mail.
- He heads for the shower, or brushes his teeth, the minute he enters the house.
- He is usually secretive about his schedule and the people he sees. He snaps at you when you show an interest. He views your normal interest as an invasion of his privacy.
- When you phone him at work, he won’t take your calls, or he cuts you off. When you call him at work in the evenings or on weekends, he doesn’t answer.
- He isn’t where he says he is going to be.
- He stops taking you to job – related social events. If he does, his co–workers act differently towards you.
- He gives jewellery or flowers, when he hasn’t done so before. These are guilt-relieving presents.
- His moods are erratic. Living with him is like being on a rollercoaster; you never know when he’ll explode at you.
- He starts criticising your looks.
- He starts reading books about sex.
- You receive strange phone calls, such as: “I think you should know about your husband”.
- If he has worn a wedding band, he stops doing so.
- When you are out together, he seems more flirtatious than usual with other women. He notices women more.
- He begins to lock his drawers; he doesn’t want you to touch any of his belongings.
- He starts doing his own laundry.
- He is overly protective of his wallet and briefcase.
- He no longer wants you to accompany him on out–of–town trips.
- He begins talking in his sleep and is generally more restless than usual.
- He starts making positive comments about one particular woman.
- He starts carrying condoms in his travelling bag.
- He clams up and shuts down completely when you ask him anything about himself.
- He feels like a brick wall when you try to hug him.
- He stops being affectionate.
- He stays so far from you in bed at night that he almost falls out of the other side.
- He begins sleeping in a spare bedroom, citing “sleep disturbance”.
- He is unusually short–tempered and irritable.
- He seems distant from you and preoccupied most of the time.
- He tells you he needs his privacy and suggests you go away for a while.
- He is indifferent to you or ignores you completely.
- He is even less communicative than usual.
- He is unusually cold and distant.
Check what other forum users have said who have been cheated on.
Read CyberShrink's take on whether trust can be rebuilt.
(Elna McIntosh, sexologist, updated 2011)
advertisement
Save up to 30% on your Healthcare each month
Save with Selfmed in 2012
Your Comments
Lightbulb
So basically when he starts behaving like a woman?
Police
The battle continues. Women have turned into these big policemen all of a sudden, always out there trying to catch men cheating. The fact is it does not help trying to catch him cheating because you probably will, then what. You will dump him and get another man hoping he does not do the same. I think women should just give it up. you are the one that's gonna get hurt in the end.
cheating
what about women, are you telling us women do not cheat , jeeeeez
Comment
So if I decide to take better care of myself by starting to exercise and buy myself new clothes I'll be suspected of cheating.
@Sihle Mthethwa
tlitlitlitli you need to be ugly so nt to be attractive to girls hehehehehe kwakwakwa and wear tear off clothes like a mad person
he
All I hear is he he he, men cheat with women. Woman of today are useless in most things especially around please a man. They think they are doing you a favour for sleeping with you when there are with you. What you won’ t do another b!tch will do it and even better.
@Samza
you will be suprised how some women prefer scruffy men i was once told i am too smart to be staying alone....
Utter Crap
Thanks ladies, now I know the bahaviour to avoid while cheating.... Some more wonderful advice about men's behaviour from a crack pot woman...
that explains it
that explains why when I bought my girlfriend flowers for valentines we broke up cos she thought I was guilty of cheating
AneleN
sure it happened to me too, when I proposed to her, she cried, she told me Im a player, all sorts of things
HE/SHE
You can replace HE with SHE anywhere in this article
know the truth
Not a good idea to spy on your spouse … but if you suspect an affair and need some proof, you can use spy software like redpill spy. It’ s free. Google redpill spy to download it.
women forget very quickly
how to take care of a man. then he strays. then it's all of a sudden his fault totally. takes two to tango... they forget how do the things when they were dating... as soon as the ring is on it's like a totally new world... blame goes both ways... shoulder the responsibility...
Mmmm....
Ok, so according to this I can basically do nothing without raising suspicion?? Think I'll just sit on the couch from now on. Won't keep the garden tidy, who knows, maybe it's seen as I'm trying to impress the mistress that I bring over, won't help with the chores at home as that may be construed as feeling guilty. Pathetic. Anyway, I agree with darkman x, thanks for the tips author.
He starts jogging?
No wonder society is turning into a bunch of idiots.
I recently started jogging. Guess i must be cheating because im looking at my health. Same applies to diet. Damn, infact why dont you just state that they are cheating. Almost everything on this list is common human behavior. Do us a favor. Get on a boat. Capsize. Stop writing Bullsh1t articles like this. Please
Put the behaviour in context
Come on guys don't mock the article. This simply means if all or most of these are happening, be alert, they are tell tale signs! The article does not mean that if someone goes to the gym they are cheating..don't be sarcastic
What utter nonsense
This must be the poorest and most biased article ever written......bwahahaha her husband probably cheated on her for being so stupid and ignorant and now she's scorned, ag shame!
yeah right
" He starts reading books about sex." ? how am i supposed to keep the bedroom exciting
" He gives jewellery or flowers, when he hasn’ t done so before. These are guilt-relieving presents." - C'mon!
What rubbish
Now any insecure girlfriend/wife is going to accused their boyfriend/husband of cheating after reading this sh#t
Now we know why
So now we know why most South African men dress like slobs, are overweight and refuse to do their own laundry. They are dead scared that their wives may suspect them of cheating. Do you blame them?
Poor article
Ridiculoiusly exaggerated.
You can replace " he" with " she" anywhere too.
One comment was correct, as soon as the ring goes on the finger, the woman changes completely than what she was like before they married. Usually for the worse. Often the man is just a wallet to her. Well dont be surprised when he starts straying... what you reap you shall sow.
Instead of figuring out if he is cheating, the woman should rather focus on WHY he COULD be cheating and attempt to correct the problem.
Every body Cheat
Not only man who are cheating, Womana are most cheating people. Some of them do its because of money some just for the sake of doing it.
What a load??
He begins exercising, especially jogging. (He may be heading for another woman’ s house.) He stops having sex with you, initiates more sex, or begins new sex behaviours. He starts watching what he eats or goes on a diet. He buys new clothes.
These are things that I've done the last 2 months! I started excerise to relieve work stress, I watch what I eat to be healthier & because I feel better about myself I want more sex & nicer fitting clothes..does this mean i'm cheating?
crapppppp!!!1!!!11111!
so a person can change nothing....
whoever made up this stuff must have a really shitty life to suspect everyone of everthing all the time.
Hogswash
SO, I started doing a lot of those, in order to please my girl more, exercise, small gift, better clothing, looking after myself better, reading up on sex, All to be better for her, and now that is signs of cheating? Hogswash!!
Just be an idiot and you will be safe
Damn! As a man I feel by just breathing I am then cheating. Nx
None
None
The comment facility of this article has been closed.