Love is a temporary insanity, as all those know who have ever lost their hearts to a stranger. When you meet him/her again in a lift three years later, you find it impossible to believe that there was a time you would have walked over hot coals for this person.

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There are certain telltale signs early on in a relationship that ‘the path of this love may never run smooth’:

• You are hesitant to introduce your new partner to your parents or friends
• Your idea of a good movie is a three-handkerchief affair while your partner prefers the latest in the schlock-horror genre
• You like to sleep in, while your partner prefers the early morning for marathon training sessions
• Your partner kisses with his/her eyes open
• You belong to two book clubs, while your new partner’s reading skills are restricted to figuring out instructions on DIY kits
• You are a dog person and she is a cat person
• Her ex-boyfriend hides behind a shop display when he sees her approaching
• He takes you to a cheap franchise restaurant on a first date
• You really mind that she messes red wine on your couch
• You think her children are undisciplined and demanding brats
• Your partner has an uncertain and erratic employment history, yet drives a fancy car
• You lose the battle for her attention to computer games on a Saturday night
• Your partner is using a credit card that bears a different surname to his own
• You find out that there are three ex-husbands lurking in the background – and she is only 29
• Your new partner is rude to waitresses in restaurants
• There are certain phonecalls your partner will not answer in your presence
• You get a box of chocolates for Christmas, his daughter gets a car
• He/She never opens bank statements or accounts
• Your new partner constantly badmouths previous partners
• You like food from deli’s – she likes McDonalds Burgers
• You are sure you will eventually get used to the smell of smoke
• You have a degree – your partner is vague about where he/she matriculated
• You find your partner’s ID Book on the floor – and realise she has subtracted 8 years from her real age
• Your new partner flosses where you can see
• Your partner wants to have children with you, but shows little interest in those he already has
• She does not seem to have any friends who have known her for longer than six months

The answer is simple – get out while you can still do so with minimal damage to yourself and your self-esteem.

(Susan Erasmus, Health24)

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