A kiss on the cheek may be quite continental, but nothing beats expensive lingerie for pure decadence that says, "I think you’re hot.

There are times when whipping out plastic and burning some cash on something completely impractical and indulgent for your lady just feels right. Money doesn’t equal love, but the two combined can be combustible.

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First, a warning: if she thinks you believe you can buy her favour after sleeping with her best friend, forget it. Women are very perceptive about these things.

Similarly, if you’ve slipped into the habit of buying her a Bar One every day on the way home from work, beware. She might appreciate the consistency, but nothing beats hunting down handmade chocolates that cost more than a shoebox of Bar Ones.

Be practical. Be careful about buying something that you secretly want for yourself (lingerie is fine, as long as you want it in the sense or seeing it on her, rather than wearing it yourself ). So, no electric corkscrews and definitely no Leatherman tools, no matter how nicely they’re wrapped. Music is fine: you’re allowed to enjoy it as much as she does.

Don’t play too safe. A gift voucher is fine for your mum on Mother’s Day, but we’re looking for something you picked out for your partner – something of which you can say “I saw it and just saw you in it”. So be a little daring.

Listen to what she says. She might be hinting or she might be thinking aloud. If she’s mentioned Issey Miyake perfume but doesn’t have any, buy some.

Don’t be afraid to ask. Reputable shops will have well-groomed and fragrant young ladies at the cosmetic counters who’ll serve you with a knowing smile and some expertise.

Now let’s get specific about underwear

• Get it right the first time. Let’s assume your relationship is at least at the stage where you’re likely to see her in or out of her knickers. On first dates, stick to roses, or you’ll risk seeming creepy or overly optimistic. Buying wispy somethings for a women is one of life’s simpler pleasures, but getting it wrong will lose you more face than tripping on the red carpet at the Oscars. So first, raid her drawer or drawers and check sizes on her undies. Don’t ask and don’t assume. If you buy her stuff that’s too large or too small, you’re sunk either way, so just get it right the first time.
• Beware the too-trashy look. Some of the nighties on the market were designed by some very lonely people. Unless you’re absolutely certain that she’ll go for the fur-trimmed bikini with the ribbons and the open crotch, you might be better off with something simpler that’s still sexy. If she chooses to bring home a babydoll number or a French maid outfit, that’s fine. The general idea is that you see her as a sex goddess, not a tart. If she wants to play something a little earthier for a while, nod in appreciation.
• Don’t skimp. La Perla Glamour, Love Kylie, Elle McPherson, 6ixty 8ight, Passionata, and other high-end brands ooze appreciation of her.

(William Smook)

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