We look at why people commit these murders which have become a phenomenon in South Africa.
Family murders are usually committed by the father. It seems to be particularly common among the Afrikaans population, as well as among other societies predominantly characterised by Calvinistic and patriarchal values.
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The father assumes the role of head of the household, breadwinner and sole “protector” of the family. He has an inappropriate and exaggerated sense of responsibility.
He is probably used to taking decisions on behalf of the other family members – even to the point of deciding whether they would prefer to live or die.
Out of control
The family murderer often feels out of control and overwhelmed by aspects of his life. Financial difficulties are common and he may feel that he failed and is letting his family down. There is a strong sense of helplessness and perceived inability to rectify the situation. The pressure can lead an otherwise controlled individual to lose control and become aggressive.
As admitting “defeat” and in need of help is often perceived by men as a weakness, there is an unwillingness to admit that he is not coping. He would rather kill himself than to admit that he needs help. The patriarchal man often feels that his family is unable to cope without him and would rather kill them than to leave them to fend for themselves.
But what about mothers who commit family murders?
This is a rare occurrence. In such cases it is usually a single mother who has assumed some of the roles ascribed to the traditional patriarchal father. The same exaggerated sense of responsibility and sense of being overwhelmed by circumstances occur in these situations.
Depression As with other forms of suicide, depression is often an underlying factor. Although most depressed people are not suicidal, most suicidal people are depressed. Serious depression can be manifested in obvious sadness, but often it is expressed instead as a loss of pleasure or withdrawal from activities that had once been enjoyable. Other symptoms include insomnia or sleeping too much, lethargy, change in appetite and difficulty concentrating – all which make it difficult for the person to function. The person feels hopeless and unable to cope with life.
What are the warning signs of suicide?
According to the Depression and Anxiety Support Group, one should look out for the following signs:
Previous suicide attempts:
Between 20 and 50 percent of people who kill themselves had previously attempted suicide. Those who have made serious suicide attempts are at a much higher risk for actually taking their lives.
Talking about death or suicide:
People who commit suicide often talk about it directly or indirectly. Sometime those contemplating suicide talk as if they are saying goodbye or going away.
Planning for suicide:
Suicidal individuals often arrange to put their affairs in order. They may give away articles they value, pay of debts or a mortgage on a house, or change a will.
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