Well, back to the show with more contestants storming off the island than rats leaving a sinking ship. Kathy arrived back from the luxury boat ride, to find the others in the tribe already at the Tribal Council. There's a storm fit for a teenage slasher movie, and she stumbles around, bleating like one of the about-to-be-stabbed girls in Scream27 or I Know What You Did In The Office.
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The next day the girls are still talking about how surprised Colby had been to be booted out. Shii-Ann expresses disappointment that he didn't say "You got me!". Does she think they're playing kiddie party games here? Actually, Lex was clever here, having skilfully used Jerri's still festering resentment of the stud who rejected her charms, and Shii-Ann's ingrained tendency to follow the leader, he got Colby out of his way.
When the rest of the tribe finally does return, Kathy is miffed that they don't warmly embrace her. Well, Duh, she's been living the high-life on a luxury yacht while they sucked some soggy rice - did she expect them to celebrate? She comments, oddly, that the other tribe "couldn't keep their hands off her". Which sounds like a different sort of reality show. As the soggy bunch sit miserably dripping in the rain, they notice that Colby left his hat behind. It sits there in the tree, hauntingly wobbling in the wind. Someone proposes that they send it back to him. Yes, guys, just call up the courier service, or pop into the post office.
Cleaning the Survivor closet
Jerri is obscenely triumphant at having outlasted Colby, as if that alone is worth far more to her than any million dollars. Crowing and jeering. She crows that the bellboy has removed all of her emotional baggage and her "Survivor closet is clean!". That's about all that's clean, as she looks positively rancid.
Ethan's back on an outcrop, rocking and staring, apparently shocked to discover that Lex is prepared to be utterly ruthless in the game. And Ethanless, as well. He says he feels silly, but he wasn't duped, just too isolated to be included in the loop.
Treemail arrives, and they must send one member to the other tribe. They all seem to feel this is a risky venture. The Chapstix solemnly draw straws, and send Jenna, like a sacrificial lamb, to the M&M's, as she decides that this is "not a good thing". Chez Maudlin Muggles, Lex on the other hand seems to want some sort of sensitivity group deep discussion to select who they swop. Ethan looks catatonic, or dogatonic, anyway. Shii suggests Kathy, who jumps at the chance to leave this gloomy mob.
It turns out that each visitor can select three valuable items belonging to the other tribe, which her own tribe could win in the Reward Challenge. Kathy eyes the booze, and Tom looks prematurely bereft.
Anyhow, the challenge involves rolling around on logs, like loony lumberjacks. If the Muddles can win, they get to steal a blanket, the parachute and tarp. If the Shallots win, they get to loot the grill, a bag of rice, and something they insistently call The Hawaiian Sling (which sounds like a cocktail). Though Shii-Ann proves surprisingly nimble on her logs, and beats the beefy Alicia twice, Amber and Rorb's team dominates, and the Schleppera win yet again.
Sucky-kissy face
MaggiMaggi gets even more miserable, as Jenna arrives to take away their rice, but bearing a small gift of some of the toiletries her tribe had won earlier. Rob and Amber went for a romantic moonlight stroll, and Rupert leered alarmingly, salivating, as he asserts that they've been "sucky-kissy-face". He looks, disturbingly, like that Dirty Old Man your Mom always warned you about.
When Jenna returns with the loot, Rupert is ecstatic about the sling, and Rorb boasts of his apparently legendary patience.
Amber confesses that at first she flirted with Rorb as a strategy, but then feelings intruded. Rorb is even more enthusiastic, insisting that Amber is "Slammin'", and that "her ass is Smokin'", which sounds a little alarming. Isn't it too young to smoke? She says she feels "99% safe" with him and he airily says it'd be nice to win the million dollars AND walk off with "the girl".
Rupert, in transports of delight about the Hawaiian Sling, which turns out to be a nifty fishing spear, tries it out and proudly catches 11 fish. Just as he feels he's proved beyond doubt how invaluable and irreplaceable he is to his tribe, Rorb airily picks up the spear and catches 12 more fish. This guy seems really bent on winning. Well, bent, anyway. Rupert tells us that while sometimes he likes Boston Rob, at other times he's an arrogant pain in the nether regions. Rorb points out that "Now we have the spear, we don't need HIM", and that the spear doesn't eat rice (a neat piece of observation). He boasts that the city kid has beaten Aquaman, and Rupe's stock is way down.
Yet another win
In the Immunity Challenge, everyone's performance is deplorable. They each fire at a huge target, with a blowgun, spears, and then bow-and-arrow. Most of the time they all miss the target completely. The Muddle-Muddle's choose Jerri as their archer, and she misses with every arrow, while King Rorb manages to get one arrow barely onto the target, so his tribe wins yet again.
So the Muggles are headed for Tribal Council yet again. If the tribes don't merge soon, this bunch'll wipe themselves out altogether. Jerri is worried. She volunteered as the Archer assuming she'd win, and now feels vulnerable. She's visibly astounded when slimy Lex suggests they dump Ethan and not her. Shii-Ann is, as usual, putty in the hands of the readable man - she'll do whatever he says. Ethan is wandering around looking like a deer caught in a car's headlights.
Lex really seems to have harboured a grudge against Ethan ever since their happy days together in Africa; and seemed to enjoy telling Ethan. He has the unmitigated cheek to make it sound as if he's doing Ethan a great favour by forcing him out of the game, and as if he expects gratitude for being so hugely self-serving. He explains that it's "just business", and that he hopes that they can still be friends, as if that should excuse absolutely anything. Ethan tried to persuade Kathy to vote against Lex, but it didn't work. She deceitfully tells him that she's leaning towards saving him, when she has no intention of doing so.
Tribal Council
At Tribal Council, again there's the feeble question and answer session - bad questions and cagey answers. Ever notice that Jeff Probst's dialogue always sounds as if he lives on fortune cookies, reading all their little mottoes?
Ethan walked, offering nauseating advice: "Have fun, play hard, and don't let the bed bugs bite". Gentlemanly to the end, though, he even managed to hug Lex and Kathy, his betrayers and the architects of his doom. Thus the last of the previous winners has left the island, and bang go their chances of making up a good soccer team.
(By the way, did anyone notice that the American announcer who devised the phrase: "Elvis has left the building", has just, well, permanently left the building? Nothing to do with this show, just a historical footnote.)
Lex is merciless and unrelenting in manipulating the girls so as to get rid of every male competitor to his victory. He doesn't seem to see the value of keeping a previous winner around, as someone who might be helpful, yet would never be voted the winner. Kathy is looking like the most promising of her otherwise inept tribe, flexible, treacherous and adaptable.
Rob M is proving far more interesting than one might expect. In his previous appearance, he showed few skills, but this time he's Machiavelli incarnate, and effortlessly dominant. Overall, unless this is an artefact of the film editing, the men remain dominant and the women largely manipulable. Some seem doomed - surely they won't put up with useless and spiteful Jerri, or finger-wagging Alicia, or sheepish Shii-Ann, for much longer? But Kathy is more wily, and Amber and Jenna are being useful enough while flying adeptly under the radar so far. – (Prof Michael Simpson)
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