Such a whiny lot, this time round. And we hear an awful lot about how thirsty they all are. It's remarkable how long it took for these bright sparks to realise that rain involves a falling to earth of drinkable water. They failed to collect it in any organised way, and then simply sat around sucking palm-fronds.
Alicia keeps announcing that she knows exactly how to start the fire, which might have been impressive except that, when given a chance, she failed as totally as everyone else did. She has absolutely no intention of letting anyone like her - she's scrappy, aggressive, and constantly instructing everyone else as to what they should do, and how they should do it. She reminds me of those characters in Greek mythology, the Furies, and permanently angry.
Sacrificing the veteran Rudy's looking frail. Even his age spots seem to be developing age spots of their own. He's a really nice guy. Everyone says they respect him, though some of them have a mighty strange way of showing that respect. He mentions his Vietnam experience, and some genius asks him if he was scared then. "The whole year!" he responds. He talks about somewhere when they drank water out of a reservoir with "six bodies floating in it:" as if this was rather a delicacy.
They recognise that even though he's ideal grandpa material, his weakness risks causing them to lose all challenges (though they've managed perfectly well to lose without any problems caused by the veteran). Reluctantly, with floods of crocodile tears, they decide to sacrifice the old guy. With attitudes like theirs, he's lucky they just vote him off, rather than roast him for Sunday brunch.
I note that in the US, he's published "The Book of Rudy". A retired Navy Seal (like a Marine, only fiercer) we're told that he "performed 45 combat operations during his years of service and earned numerous distinctions, including a Bronze Star and the Defence Superior Service Medal. In 2000, People magazine rated him as one of the "sexiest men in America." (surely an achievement for anyone at 73) It also noted that "he lives with Marge, his wife of 45 years. "
Harping on nudity
Lex tells us he's not really bothered by Rich's frequent outbursts of nudity. Which is only interesting because I don't think we ever actually asked him about that. Colby says he's becoming comfortable too, about having "an overweight gay guy naked" running about, which also answers a question that hasn't been asked.
Rich, or Rique as some know him, lolls around in the rain, announcing that it's not cold out there. Presumably, being nude as ever, he's functioning like a sort of barometer, in the way that some people hang up a piece of seaweed to predict the weather.
Of boxes and stars and the cloud of mosquitoes
Each tribe receives a large box with three locks, and they sit around staring at it, as if it were a Home Entertainment Centre about to switch on and deliver MTV. Jenna, peculiarly, remarks "Maybe it's an animal". Yeah, Jenna, a large cubic animal, gee, there are so many we can think of. Boston Rob wants to break it open, and when the others fear this may break the rules, says, scornfully, "Yeah, we might upset Pretty-Boy Probst". Which is like the pot calling the kettle well-polished.
The first Reward Challenge involves a lot more swimming about, fetching logs to put in place to construct a crude ladder, "a staircase to the stars"? Which stars? Really, guys, if it's this easy to reach the stars, NASA is way over budget.
As the contest starts, Rich immediately shucks off his pants again. This guy takes them off so readily and so often, one really wonders why he ever bothers to put them on. Maybe he wears them only when he plans to sit on really jagged rocks. Anyhow, his cloud of inquisitive mosquitoes are kept really busy in this episode. Persistent rumours from other contestants suggest that his modesty could have been perfectly protected by a far smaller cloud, but the network censors seem bent upon inflating his reputation. Or something.
Let me light your fire
The winning team is offered a bunch of dismally drab blankets, and try to pretend to be pleased. Or, they can receive a pot with a clue to finding the first key to unlock their big box of rice, and, much more important, a flint-but then all the other groups will get the same reward. They opt for the pot and flint combo (an island variety of Surf and Turf ).
Two groups manage to get their fire going promptly, but Pago Pago finds this so hard that they decide to sleep on it, cold and miserable, and only get things alight the next morning. I wonder whether one of the cameramen, finding this delay so boring, lent them his lighter ?
Of pots and keys and brain parasites
They now read the clue on the pot, written in the usual bad verse, and wander off. Before anyone has got going, Rich has found the key. More pretty travelogue shots, especially of all those animals who we never see in the same shot as the castaways. And the usual generic "exotic music", as perhaps it wasn't easy to find a Panamanian composer at short notice.
Ethan broods that he's a target, as if surprised to realize that other competitors aren't really eager to give him a second million dollars. Jerri's going on about the Brain Parasites, as if they were her favourite basketball team.
Trying to bail out the lagoon
The Immunity Challenge is yet another soggy one, with lots of disorganised swimming about and more underwater shots than in Finding Nemo. Two tribes do the logical thing, simply inverting their waterlogged boat to empty it, then paddling ashore. But Tobacco is about as chaotic as possible. They try to bail out the boat while it's still under water, thus trying to bail out the lagoon itself, and seem puzzled to find this difficult. Ethan loses a paddle, and the bailing bucket. Jerri discards her oar, and Jenna, not to be outdone, seems to lose both of hers. Funny, there are days when we wondered if she had both oars in the water.
Ethan seems reluctant to leave the water, and swims back out to fetch the oars. He's failing to be the strong and successfully athletic team member, which might be his only claim to a long stay on the island, and makes some rather pathetic tries at making his mark. Except that when he fails, his status only becomes more precarious.
We watch the Sobogus folks looking gloomy, and judging by the soundtrack, there's a melancholy cellist hiding somewhere in the undergrowth. Rupert explains that he'd like to smack Ethan "upside his head", and indeed they all seem to be blaming the hapless Ethan (well, I haven't seen him with any hap at all) and he tries the traditional method for avoiding eviction - becoming a triumphant food-gatherer. "Look guys, you need me - I get food!" Unfortunately, he actually doesn't manage to catch any fish at all, while Rupert does manage to get a rather small fish, which presumably got tangled up in all his body hair and beard.
Crocodile tears at tribal council
And so to Tribal Council. As all the signs seem to point out that Ethan's had it, he must be safe at least for this week. Jeff seems to really have it in for Ethan, asking questions calculated to emphasise his uselessness and comprehensive failures. But in the end, only Rupert and Rudy vote for Ethan, and all the others vote Rudy off., shedding floods of crocodile tears as he leaves. Ethan explains to the camera that his vote is only "strategical". In his parting comments, Rudy sounds strangely vindictive, as if he's been chatting to the Robfadda, vowing to get even with those who voted against him, saying "I gotta lotta friends."
Such a whiny lot, this time round. And we hear an awful lot about how thirsty they all are. It's remarkable how long it took for these bright sparks to realise that rain involves a falling to earth of drinkable water. They failed to collect it in any organised way, and then simply sat around sucking palm-fronds.
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