This is going to sound odd, but one of the most important skills to develop in order to lose weight, is to trust yourself. This is not as easy as it sounds; you need to view yourself as a trustable person, particularly around food.

You will have to work hard at expelling all those negative thoughts about yourself - particularly that little devil that sits on your shoulder and says that you have no will power, that you are weak when it comes to saying no to your best food.

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Don't worry, this mechanism of weight loss doesn't require you to say no to your favourite food. It doesn't even require will power.

It is also just possible that you are eating because some stupid diet programme says that you have to have 32 grams of high fibre herbage at 10h23. So, for a few days, kick all diets, eat normally and naturally for you and jot down everything that you eat, why you are eating, and your feelings prior to and during the eating. This note must include everything eaten or drunk except water.

You will see patterns of eating emerging - analyse these and understand them. Now, the next big step. You need to learn to recognise when you actually are hungry. So, just for a day, don't eat anything at all - just drink water, and concentrate on what it feels like to be hungry. Hunger is not a rumbling stomach, so get past the rumbling and focus on what it really feels like to be hungry. Remember that feeling, internalise it and move to the next step.

This is going to sound so simple that some will think it is ridiculous. Only eat when you are hungry. Look around at thin people at dinner parties or business lunches - you will see that some are not actually eating. Sure, they may be playing with food on their plates, or they may have a few mouthfuls of food to taste something - but they are not bowing to the social pressure that suggests that we should eat because the occasion demands it. Sure, taste something if it looks good and you are not hungry, but don't scoff the lot. When you are actually hungry, you must eat exactly what you feel like - don't deny yourself anything. 

Finally, stop when you have had enough, not when you are full or bloated, just when you have had enough. Don't be tempted to think "there is just a little left on my plate, I'll just finish it rather than waste it." Leave it, even if it is just a little. Think about this: Where is food more wasted - in the dustbin, or in your stomach when your body doesn't need it?

If you see something that you really want to eat but you are not hungry, you are going to have to bring your new-found trust in yourself into play. Make a pact with yourself - promise yourself that you will eat whatever it is that you want the very next time that you are hungry if you still feel like eating it. Then, very importantly, keep your pact with yourself. This may result in seemingly odd eating patterns like having peri-peri chicken first thing in the morning, but who cares if it is helping you get and keep thin? Also, you will find over time that your body starts craving different things at different times, many of them quite healthy and "normal".

Social Skills
To implement this approach to eating you are going to have to buff up on some social skills. Imagine you arrive home and your lover or spouse has spent hours preparing a fantastic meal and you do a quick mental inventory to discover that you are not hungry. You are going to have to learn to acknowledge and appreciate the effort, to have a little taste, and put off the eating until you are really hungry. Those close to you will learn to understand - even to share in your triumph as you lose weight. Those who are not close to you may be a bit miffed; you will just have to learn to be super charming.

Let's Move it!
You will need to exercise. There are two important points in this regard. Firstly pick an exercise routine that you enjoy - don't go jogging if you hate jogging. Secondly, exercise within your capabilities - don't kill yourself exercising.

One thing that will certainly happen - you will occasionally binge. You will occasionally start eating when you are not hungry and just go on until you are ready to pop. Don't panic - thin people binge from time to time as well. It isn't a reason to give up on the whole approach. Just put it behind you and go forward. It is a bit like going on a long journey in a car - if you had a flat tyre half way would you return to the start to fix it? Just pick yourself up after the binge and go forward.

Be Realistic!
Lastly, don't expect the weight to miraculously melt off you. It took a long time to get into this shape, it is going to take a long time to get out of it. - Dr I.V. van Heerden, registered dietician.
 

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