Despite your good intentions, it's happened again. A glass or two too many at the dinner party, an easily flattered ego, an attractive man with a sense of humour and you've ended up with a stranger in bed. At least you remembered the bit about safe sex.
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So all is not lost, except perhaps your heart. You've woken up and decided that maybe this one could be more than an overnight relationship maybe he's good for the long haul. Now's the time to tread carefully, though. One-night-stands don't often lead to greater things.
In fact, most people wake up to a sense of disorientation and sometimes disgust. Too much wine can let your standards slip a bit and the next morning can be a sobering experience. But you've decided you fancy this guy. So what to do now, if you don't want to let this one get away?
Back off. Nothing puts someone off more quickly than being all over him or her like cheap suit. Keep your hands to yourself especially the next morning. Don't be pushy or demanding he owes you nothing at this stage. Don't be too friendly; you might crowd him.
Lost and found. If you see him leave a jersey or sunglasses on the couch, keep quiet. It might be an opportunity to see him again when he comes to retrieve it. But it could also be a real downer if he tells you just to keep it. So it is a gamble.
Don't phone. Give him time to catch his breath. We might live in the 21st century, but phoning him the next day will make him feel hunted. Not all men will feel this way, but many will. Endless phone calls or SMSs will make him run a mile, and that's not what you want. Stay cool and stay away from the phone. He'll phone you eventually if he wants to keep contact.
Avoid desperation station. Don't tell him when last you had a boyfriend or had sex especially if it's been a long time. Desperation can be smelled at fifty paces and it doesn't smell nice. Whatever you do, don't let on that you have long-term plans with him. He might just move and leave no forwarding address, or accept that job offer in Burundi.
Offer breakfast/shower. Don't be unforthcoming in the morning. You may have had a late night and you think your morning face is enough to make a mule back away from an oat bin, but he's not looking his best either now, is he? Be friendly, offer breakfast and a bath or a shower, but tread carefully overeagerness could be misinterpreted as desperation.
Steer clear of heartbreak hotel. Phone the friend at whose party you met this guy and find out a little more. You don't want to be the last to find out if he's married, has a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, for that matter. Stranger things have happened. Is this guy single? Is he long-term relationship material? Does he have an addiction problem you need to know about? Does he have six children? Don't agonise over someone who has not been honest with you or who is clearly spoken for. He doesn't deserve you.
Don't put the word out. For heaven's sake, don't tell everyone. The last thing you want to happen is for him to find out from a colleague's neighbour's cousin that you thought he was cute. Don't let your interest hit the grapevine, as you could be in for some serious ego-crushing and that in public. If he wants to know how you feel, he can ask you out on a date and find out.
Make a date. This is a tricky one, because it has to be done long before sunrise, otherwise you're just going to look pushy. Ask him to go with you to your cousin's wedding or the charity ball, but tread carefully here. He may say no, or even worse, the morning light might make you decide that you wouldn't want to share a post office queue with this guy, let alone go on a date with him.
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