How do you handle personal problems at work? Here are a few guidelines to follow.
It is Monday morning and Gerald feels terrible. When he arrived at home on Friday afternoon, he found out that his live-in girlfriend of three years had moved out of their flat that morning. He had picked up no signs that anything had been wrong. On Saturday he saw her at the supermarket with one of his training buddies. The rest of the weekend was spent gnashing his teeth, drinking and sleeping. He is unprepared for the production meeting he is supposed to chair at 10 am.
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Monica’s only son told her casually over supper on Wednesday night that he was gay and had decided to move in with his lover on the weekend. He said that he had assumed she knew and apologised for upsetting her, as that had not been his intention. She did not sleep at all, but had to confess to herself that, in hindsight, all the signs had been there. She just did not want to see them. But her Thursday morning fundraising presentation is unlikely to be inspiring.
The workplace
All people have serious emotional or health problems from time to time. Crises don’t happen when you can fit them into your schedule. While taking a day or two off, whether sick leave or compassionate leave, is an option, this is a temporary solution.
At some point, and often long before you feel sufficiently in control, you will have to return to work.
Work pressure, deadlines and meetings do not let up because you are having a crisis. What should you do if you really cannot cope?
“Think twice before confiding in all and sundry”, says Cape Town psychologist Ilse Terblanche. “Obviously your immediate superior will have to be informed, as your state of mind will more than likely impact on your work performance. Sharing details of your misery with everyone from the tealady to the director is unprofessional and crosses professional boundaries.”
Coping with personal problems - Things you can do:
Decide beforehand what, if anything, you are going to tell colleagues.
Decide beforehand exactly what you are going to tell your supervisor. Merely the bare basics, or alternatively, simply that something upsetting has happened that might affect your working ability. You do not owe anyone any details you would rather not share.
Get a close friend to phone you once or twice during the day just to hear how you are doing.
Eat properly as your body has experienced a shock and needs all the nutrition it can get.
If you think you will be unable to stay calm during the workday, consider taking a day or two off, while you sort things out and get some rest.
See your GP or therapist. A few tranquillisers might make things a lot easier
Divulging too much at work of your private life might be overstepping boundaries of professionalism and might embarrass you later.
Take a walk over lunchtime or meet a friend for coffee. The moral support could do wonders.
Try and see the eight hours at work as time out from your dilemma. Sometimes it helps to get through the worst if you can focus on something else for short periods of time.
If you have someone at work you trust and are close to, let them know that you need some TLC.
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