Mothers and children find themselves in all sorts of different situations. So whether you get on with your children, or not, or whether they are here or far away - whatever your situation, here are some ideas on spending Mother's Day.

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You get on well with your children

• It doesn’t really matter what you do, you will probably enjoy it
• Spend the day on your knees saying thank you
• Let them surprise you
• Buy them a present
• Tell them you love them

You don’t get on with your children’s spouses

• Put a smile on your face, take a tranquilizer and be as pleasant as possible. The quickest way of alienating your child is to be critical of their spouse or partner.
• Take some moral support along for yourself if the lunch is not at your home
• Take the moral support out to lunch if you are not invited at all
• Send your daughter-in-law a mother’s day card if she is a mother
• If things are really unpleasant, go away for the week and miss the day entirely

Your children are living overseas

• Remind them timeously that Mother’s Day is on the 14th of May in South Africa – it differs from country to country
• Organise something for the day in advance, otherwise you could get very miserable
• Invite other couples or mothers over who are in the same position – make a party of it
• Avoid places where you will be confronted by happy extended families

You have recently been fighting with your children

• See Mother’s Day as an opportunity to sort out differences
• Tell them you love them anyway
• Try and ignore your differences for the day – if you think there might be a fight, say you will discuss the issue at a later date
• Do something together that won’t require endless socialising, like going to the movies

Your mother lives far away

• Phone beforehand to find out what she is doing for Mother’s Day and encourage her to organise something
• If you have a friend who lives close to your folks, see if you can’t organise some joint activity – if they get on, that is
• Remember to send a card and a present, or at least to phone
• Tell your mother you love her

(Susan Erasmus, Health24)

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