One of the long-term consequences of inflation is that many middle-aged people are having to look after their parents. By that time, you’re not exactly a child yourself and chances are your parents are 20 to 30 years older.
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There are stresses, obviously; and there are real health issues. How healthy are they, which diseases are they prone to and which symptoms should you be looking out for?
“Having your parents living with you is not easy at the best of times, especially if your relationship was somewhat stressed to begin with”, says Ilse Pauw, Health24 writer and Cape Town psychologist. “There are many control issues that can surface, and health (and symptoms of ill health) are often areas of great contention. Many elderly people experience recommendations of lifestyle changes from their children as interference, and can get quite resentful. These recommendations are best left to the professionals.
“It must also be remembered that lifestyle changes, such as stopping smoking or drinking, starting to take regular exercise, cutting out certain foodstuffs and remembering to take medication are never easy to achieve, and the older you get, the more effort it could take to achieve these lifestyle changes,” she says. So don't get impatient with them.
“There are other problems involved, such as minimising the seriousness of symptoms the elderly may be experiencing, and reluctance to consult a GP regularly. This is often as a result of fear of hospitalisation or institutionalisation or a very real fear that the chest pain may be something more serious than muscle strain.”
So which diseases are your elderly parents most likely to suffer from and what are their symptoms?
Arthritis. This could be osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis. The symptoms of these include joint pain, greater immobility, hesitancy to partake in physical activities that were enjoyed before and sudden, constant taking of painkillers.
Prostate problems/bladder problems. Obviously the prostate problems could only be experienced by men, but both these problems are often characterised by frequent urination and obvious discomfort. Sometimes urinary incontinence or inability to urinate may result.
Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s diseases and stroke. Parkinson’s disease is most often characterised by tremors, especially in the hands. The onset of Alzheimer's is often gradual and could include forgetfulness, inappropriate behaviour, lack of domestic organisation, disorientation and a changing of normal routine or habits. Mild strokes are often not immediately apparent, but could be characterised by sudden inability to do normal tasks or to become suddenly forgetful.
Cardiovascular diseases. Among these are congestive heart failure, valvular heart disease and hypertension (high blood pressure.) These often don’t have obvious symptoms, unless the person has arrhythmia. Chest pain and breathlessness can sometimes be present, but heart disease can strike out of the blue, with no prior warning.
Type 2 diabetes. The most common symptom is a sudden increase in both water intake and urination. Sudden weight loss or weight gain is another symptom. If left untreated, diabetes can have very serious consequences, especially in the elderly.
Cancer. The types of cancer could include breast, prostate, colon or lung cancer. These are the most common types of cancer in the elderly, although by no means the only ones. Cancer in the early stages is difficult to diagnose, but is sometimes characterised by non-painful lumps or tumours, a sudden unexplained weight loss, lethargy or a difference in the way a person’s body functions. Regular checkups are essential for everyone, and all the more so for the elderly.
Depression. Many elderly people suffer from depression. Often they feel isolated, their spouses have died, their social lives are dwindling, they have financial worries and their health may be giving them problems. Be on the lookout for classic signs of depression in your parents, such as early morning waking, a change in eating patterns and a negativity about activities that were formerly enjoyed.
(Susan Erasmus, Health24, updated February 2008)
Anyone have any practical ideas on how to persuade my stubborn father to go for regular check-ups? - Michelle
re: Parents can be difficult
2008/04/10 10:39:27 AM
I find bribery often works - take him out to lunch or do something with him he enjoys in return for a visit to the doc. Or find a young female doctor - that might inspire him to go more often! :-) - Jojo
mom smoking
2008/04/10 11:31:00 AM
How do I get my mom to stop smoking? It's appalling for her health, she has a nasty cough, but she just says I must leave her alone, she'll be fine. - Richard
impossible task
2008/04/10 11:33:44 AM
This is dificult - my father got lung cancer and still wouldn't stop smoking, he smoked until the day he died. It's not a deicison you can make for someone else. - Jane
DIABETES
2008/04/10 12:52:04 PM
I KNOW THAT BOTH TYPE 1 AND 2 ARE DANGEROUS BUT WHICH ONE IS MORE THAN THE OTHER NOW THAT YOU ARE MENTIONING ONLY THE TYPE 2? - ABNER LEUTA
Diabetes
2008/04/10 01:07:33 PM
Type 1 is insulen dependant diabetes and therefore more severe. However type 2 is more common in older people, which is why i reckon they mentioned it. - Cindy
mmm..
2008/04/10 01:41:59 PM
I am trying to convince my father in law to see a Dr for this stomach pains he's been having. He's a darling but he thinks dr's are the devil, and the younger female wont work....and I can't bribe him with chocolates because he's a diabetic! My husband suggested chloroform.... - Tanya
liv with inlaws
2008/04/10 01:44:52 PM
thought this article may help and rather amuseing . - fagmy
Re: parents can be difficult
2008/04/10 02:53:43 PM
Call the doctor home.. give your dad a surprise (he cant hide and say no then) ! - J0e
good luck
2008/04/10 03:33:56 PM
Good luck trying to find a doctor who will do a house call...and if he decides that your father needs a specialist, what then? Old people can be so STUBBORN! As for the whole "stop smoking" issue...a totally lost cause! - DW
Smoking
2008/04/10 03:58:13 PM
My dad also smoke a packet a day and has a bad cough to make matter worse he love coke wich is also not good. I find myself really becoming anxious as my mom past away 3years ago of cancer and i dont want to go through that again - Amanda
Smoking...
2008/04/10 04:55:39 PM
Try working out the weekly, monthly and yearly expenditure on cigarettes... afterwards consider the various options one could have should he/ she save this cig money.(Same advice for indivs spending money on unnecessary items) These financial incentives may just work! - Cass
Smoking
2008/04/10 10:44:05 PM
I finanly convinced my mother she would burn the house down as she fell asleep with cigarette in hand. However, before removing the bad habit - place some worthy task or hobby into the hands that carried you from childhood into wisdom. Life becomes lonely and empty with long hours. Kindness and gentle talking over a while will do it. Ex smoker. - Elisabetha
Parents can be difficult
2008/04/10 11:08:30 PM
Stubbornness could be hiding a fear in a siutation such as this. Perhaps he has diagnosed himself amd fears confirmation. Firstly discuss his fear(s) with him and assure him that you would respect his choice of doctor. Let him be the adult and you the caring child. This should make him aware of your love and support. It might swing things. How did you get him to react when you were a kid? Try the same tricks... He is still the same dad! Good luck. - Elisabetha
Depression
2008/04/11 09:17:27 AM
My mother suffers from deep depression for years now after my father died. She is also in a lot of financial difficulty, because he used to do the budget every month. We got her to go and see a therapist, but the therapist made things worse. I don't know what to do anymore, as her depression is ruining our relationship. I don't even want to call anymore, because she just goes on about everything that is going wrong in her life. She doesn't want to see another therapist. Any ideas? - Liz
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