"Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head” Martin Mull

Many modern women juggle work, children and their marriage relationships. At least once a day they wish that every day had 30 hours instead of 24.

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And that somewhere in the middle of all this mayhem between ironing, baby feeds, work deadlines, a sulky husband, the PTA meetings, taking the dog to the vet and carting kids to soccer coaching there could be half an hour of peace.

Are extreme measures the only option?
Does one have to resort to extreme measures, such as going to sit in a parking lot by yourself to read the newspaper? Or rent a flat without giving your family the address? Or get up at 5 am, while everyone is sleeping?

“I can’t even go to the toilet by myself”, laments a mother of three pre-school children. “I miss spending time alone, I miss my own company.”

And it is this 24-hour a day responsibility that no-one can prepare you for. Wonderful as it is to have children, it is simply inevitable if you are the primary caregiver, that your own interests and needs will be put on the back burner for a while.

But somewhere in the midst of this you have to find a little time for yourself, otherwise you would be unable to stay on the treadmill of duties.

Some ideas to making time for yourself

• Organise to see a friend during your lunch hour at least once a week.
• Take part in at least one creative or sporting activity every week without the family Have fixed babysitting exchange arrangements with a friend to give both of you some time out
• It is good to leave your husband alone with the children for at least a few hours per week, as it will give him some idea of why you are tired at the end of the day, even if you are not working outside of the home. Try and do this on a regular basis, so you can organize a social event or two with a friend.
• Be strict about sending your children to bed at the same time every night. In this way, it will only be a battle in the beginning, not an ongoing one. This will give you some time alone with your husband. It is this relationship that suffers most with arrival of children.
• Stress the fact that you also need time with your friends (face-to-face or on the telephone) as your children do with theirs.
• Try to get away by yourself or only with your husband at least once every six months. Even one night can make a difference. Find another couple who would like to do the same and babysit for each other.
• Get online for all your account payments. It saves a lot of time and running around.
• Don’t stress out too much about the housework. Use part of your salary and get domestic help. Even once a week will make a huge difference.

If none of the above work, remember that this state of affairs will not last forever. A day will come when you will have lots of time for yourself again. Maybe even too much. - (Susan Erasmus, Health24)

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