There is no escaping this situation unless you have no friends at all. Life-changing diseases from HIV, cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes to heart disease can strike anyone at any time. There are many more and no-one is exempt from getting any of these diseases.
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“There is no particular way to behave when a friend falls seriously ill”, says Ayesha Sassman, counsellor and spokesperson for the Cancer Association of South Africa. “Nothing will work for everyone, but there are certain things to remember.”
She suggests the following:
Be sensitive to your friend’s needs, rather than concentrating on your own.
Respect your friend’s wishes, whether they entail being left alone, being allowed to be miserable, or having the right to refuse treatment.
Accept the reality of the situation.
Don’t give unsolicited advice – nothing is more difficult to handle than advice from someone who does not really understand the full implications of the situation.
Give absolute support to whatever they decide to do. Be positive. Your friend has enough to cope with without having to look after you on top of everything else.
Remember that people would rather risk losing a friend than be pushed into doing or discussing something with which they do not feel comfortable.
Find out about the disease yourself or even go and see a counsellor who could help you through this time.
Don’t tell scare stories about other people and keep your fears and uncertainties to yourself.
At all times respect the person’s privacy and do not repeat things that were told to you in confidence.
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