Share

Dating, sex and HIV

HIV is a communicable disease, meaning it can be passed from one person to another. And while transmission of HIV through unprotected sex is a real risk, this does not mean people with HIV can never have a normal relationship with someone who is HIV negative.

There are three ways which the virus is transmitted sexually:

• Direct contact with penetrative sex.
• Risky behaviour.
• Mixing of body fluids.

HIV is present in blood, semen, vaginal fluid and breast milk in varying concentrations. It is present in sweat, saliva and tears only if contaminated with the above bodily fluids. The virus does not survive well outside its host and so far there have been no proven cases of people contracting the virus from environmental sources, such as toilet seats. It cannot reproduce outside of its host.

There behaviours or indicators that contribute to putting you at risk for contracting HIV:

A. Possible transmission of HIV through the mixing of blood
B. Possible transmission of HIV through the mixing of sexual fluids


High risk behaviours

A

B

Unprotected sexual intercourse

Yes

Yes

Unprotected anal intercourse

Yes

Yes

Sharing intravenous and tattooing needles or having a partner who is an IV drug user

Yes

No

Drinking alcohol

Yes, if it leads to high risk needle sharing

Yes. Heightens chance of high risk sexual behaviour and forgetting to use a condom.

Using drugs

Yes. It can lead to high risk needle sharing behaviour, tattooing, piercing

Yes. Heightens chance of high risk sexual behaviour and forgetting to use a condom.

Previous infection with a sexually transmitted infection (STI)

No

Yes. Previous STIs heighten the likelihood of contracting them again.

Partner with a previous infection with a STI

No

Yes. Past risky behaviour increases likelihood of being HIV positive.

Multiple partners without practising safer sex

Yes

Yes, if someone has had many sexual partners and one of them was HIV positive, it increases your risk of contracting HIV.

Oral sex

Yes, if either partner has open sores, risk is increased.

Yes, if either partner has open sores, risk is increased.


Low risk behaviours

A

B

Kissing

Yes, unless both partners have open sores in their mouths.

No

Heavy petting and mutual masturbation

Yes. The only risk is if you have sores or open cuts on your fingers or you bite your partner and break the skin.

Yes. The only risk is if you have sores or open cuts on your fingers and get vaginal fluid or sperm into them.

Intercourse using a condom

Yes. If used correctly, a condom provides adequate protection against STIs, but there is always the possibility that it could break.

Yes. If used correctly, a condom provides adequate protection against STIs, but there is always the possibility that it could break.

Sexual intercourse within a monogamous sexual relationship with someone who is free of STIs

Yes. The only risk here is if your partner turns out to be less than faithful.

Yes. The only risk here is if your partner turns out to be less than faithful.


Abstinence and masturbation are probably the only no risk sexual behaviours. But sticking to this is not always possible, or realistic.

The possibility of contracting HIV has impacted on people's sexual behaviours and lifestyle. Gone are the days where pregnancy, or herpes, was the worst possible consequence of risky sexual behaviour. Having sex without a condom in the 21st century could be like signing your death warrant or playing Russian Roulette.

Choosing the right protection
There are many precautions to take when engaging in sexual activities with someone you know is HIV, or who is HIV- and you are HIV+, or someone you are engaging in casual sexual relations with. These include:

• It’s important to ensure the correct use of condoms. They need to be of good quality, not expired or must not have been in the direct sun.
• Only water-based lubricants should be used and in adequate quantities.
• Femidoms also provide good protection.
• Tattoo needles and needles for piercing have to be sterile. During traditional health practices ensure that only sterile needles or blades are used.
• It is also important to make sure that your dental health is always good. It is more important to clean your teeth after sex than before.
• Using condoms and lubricant also protects you from sexually transmissible infections that can compromise your health and fertility. If you have an STI it can increase the levels of HIV in your fluids.
• Safe sex also means thinking about hepatitis C transmission.
• If your partner has open wounds, cold sores or has had recent dental surgery, or if you have genital ulcers or lesions, take extra precautions during oral sex, or avoid it completely until they are healed.
• Other infections of the genital tract such as thrush, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhoea or syphilis can increase your viral load in your sexual fluids and increase your risk for HIV.
We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
Who we choose to trust can have a profound impact on our lives. Join thousands of devoted South Africans who look to News24 to bring them news they can trust every day. As we celebrate 25 years, become a News24 subscriber as we strive to keep you informed, inspired and empowered.
Join News24 today
heading
description
username
Show Comments ()
Editorial feedback and complaints

Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24.

LEARN MORE