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Updated 02 October 2015

Cunnilingus is no tongue-twister

Most women love oral sex. It’s just that some feel a little self-conscious about it. Others have had experiences with men who were too hasty, careless or didn’t read the signs.

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Guys, forget about the porn you’ve seen. It’s done more harm than good as far as oral pleasure’s concerned. Read up on these basics and she’ll erect shrines to your loving prowess.

- Don’t head straight there: The entire area is crammed with nerve endings and she feels at least as strongly about her vagina as you do. Start with some kissing, good ol’ fashioned necking. It’s an oft-neglected art. Remind her how good a team you are at it before heading south;

- Don’t go straight for the clitoris, either: The clitoris is like a little penis, but with twice as many nerve endings. That said, don’t neglect the inner and outer lips of the labia, the perineum and the vaginal entrance itself;

    - When in doubt, go slow: She may be telling you exactly what to do. If not, keep a slow rhythmic pressure with your tongue. If her breathing changes, if you hear her tummy gurgle, or if she starts moving with you, you’re doing fine – the same if she threatens to maim you if you stop;

    - Go digital: No, not cameras, fingers. Use them gently, like everything else;

    - Lip service all round: As you probably noticed, the clitoris has its own little hood. If it gets too stimulated, it retreats under that hood and can affect everyone’s prospects for a pleasant evening. Try using the blade of your tongue to lick downwards, caressing the hood with it. The clitoris will get the message that it is in good, gentle hands;

    - Your tongue’s not a penis or a whip: Porn stars are paid to act. It’s why they have unusual anatomies. Real people look different and do things differently. Concentrate on the areas of her body you can see. For now, that’s where all the nerve endings are that you need to concern yourself with;

    - Don’t get too cute: Chances are that she’ll want to lie comfortably and enjoy your ministrations. Start like that and if she chooses to say, 69 you, then go with it;

    - Be reassuring: A lot of women are sensitive about how it smells down there. Any card-carrying, red-hearted man will enjoy the smell, the taste and the sensation, and tell her so.

Read more:

A guide to safe oral sex

5 myths men believe about lesbians

How to share a love

 
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