Updated 07 November 2014

How do you tell that someone is interested in you

Peoples’ body language often provides you with the answer that you are too shy to ask for.


Countless letters are written to agony aunts from desperate teenagers, who ask one simple question. "I am in love with H, but I do not know how he/she feels about me or has even noticed me. What should I do?"

The answer, relevant to everyone, not just teenagers, is to watch out for those non-verbal signs. Body language.

Women generally tend to be better body language readers than men. From an early age they are taught to read and respond to other peoples’ feelings and moods, says M.H. van Schalkwyk in her book titled Management Communication.

Men can learn to become good body language readers, says Dorothy Varley, author of the book Principles of Public Relations.

In an interview, she mentioned certain obvious signs that a man can interpret as positive signs that a woman is sexually interested in him:

  • Leaning towards rather than away from him
  • Copying his body language and gestures or facial expressions
  • Rapid blinking of her eyes (generally referred to as fluttering her eyelashes)
  • Changing facial colour – either to very pale or flushed
  • Tilting her head to one side, which reflects a certain coyness
  • Smiling or nodding
  • Touching him, his clothing or possessions in any way
  • Making prolonged eye-contact

"One must, however, focus on the total picture rather than zooming in on a single sign," says Van Schalkwyk. The fact that someone has gone pale when seeing you, could be a very negative sign and should not be misinterpreted as a positive sign when none of the other signals are present. Many men have landed themselves in serious trouble this way, so look out.

(Picture: couple making eye contact from Shutterstock)

Read more:

10 flirting tips
Seduction mistakes


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