Apart from erectile dysfunction, nothing torpedoes a bloke’s self-confidence like coming too soon. If you regularly ejaculate sooner than you and your partner wish — such as before intercourse begins or shortly afterwards — you may have a condition known as premature ejaculation.
Studies to determine the average time a man could "do it" before climaxing suggested that around 30% of men ejaculate within one minute of penetration. About 60% ejaculate within five minutes. Only around 5% last about 15 minutes.
Just how long you take depends on many factors. Some men find that they come quickly the first time they ejaculate in a bout of lovemaking. Later the same night they might take much longer to climax.
Male sexuality has become stuck, focusing only on penetration and orgasm. Men can indeed have orgasms without ejaculation, which means you can have two or more orgasms in a row – even multiple ones! What also helps to know is that you don’t need to have an orgasm or ejaculate for sex to be wonderfully satisfying. In fact, there are even times when an orgasm can spoil your state of bliss.
In a few cases, premature ejaculation may be a symptom of a physical condition, but in the vast majority of cases it’s simply a matter of conditioning. Many men have become used to “getting it over with”. Like any habit, it can be relearned.
A step-by-step approach
Jonti Searll, a well-known sensualist, suggests a step-by-step programme designed to allow you to make some deep and lasting changes by expanding your sexual knowledge and horizons, and learning some great techniques.
The first part of the programme contains a mixture of exercises, drawn from Eastern and Western traditions. They focus on “The Problem”, but in ways that look at the bigger picture and how one can apply the techniques for awesome sexual pleasure.
The goal of the second part is greater pleasure for you and your partner.
This programme is about penetration, about lasting as long as you like, about having the sexual control you’ve always dreamed of and experiencing levels of pleasure you’ve only read about or seen in the movies.
Take your time with these simple exercises. Make sure you understand them well before the fun part - practising them - starts. If the suggested time to master an exercise is two weeks, but you feel that three weeks or more is what you need, take more time. Listen to your body. It’s important to focus on your body’s response. Remember, it’s not a race - it's a personal journey you're embarking on. You’ll definitely gain better results if you start off slowly.
If you’re in a relationship, it would be helpful to explain the programme to your partner. His or her understanding and involvement will help you enormously along the way. Now let's get started.
The superhero programme
Follow these steps:
Step 1: PC muscles (Warning: contains explicit material)
Step 2: Acupressure points
Step 3: Flexibility (Warning: contains explicit material)
Step 4: Breathing
Step 5: Visualisation
Step 6: Tantric energy balance
Step 7: Solo practice
Step 8: Partner practise (Warning: contains explicit material)
Step 9: Penetration
Step 10: Orgasm and ejaculation
Step 11: Sex and breathing
(Jonti Searll, sensualist, October 2010)
About the author of the programme
(Pciture: sexy man in bed from Shutterstock)