Updated 12 February 2013

What SA men say about sex

SA men want more sex, but they want communication too, say the results of the latest Women’s Health/Men’s Health Sex Survey.

Men want more sex, but they want communication too, say the results of the latest Women’s Health/Men’s Health Sex Survey.

Having polled1 457 online survey participants, here’s what the latest Women’s Health/Men’s Health Sex Survey found when it came to South African's men’s attitudes and beliefs about sex.

Men are actually quite in tune with their partners

77% of men stated an emotional connection was the most important factor when pleasing a partner.

You want communication! 40.7% of men say the worst mistake their partner can make is not communicating enough in bed.

When it comes to cheating – the lines are blurred

54.2% of men have cheated on a partner, 40.6% of those in monogamous relationships have cheated once or twice. 35.4% of married men have cheated once or twice (interestingly women beat this figure with 37.3%).

8.8% of married men have cheated more than a whopping 10 times!

Virtual cheating - In terms of online flirting, although 70.4% of women consider this cheating; only 45.6% of men said the same.

Bit of a contradiction?

69% of males believe in monogamy. But only 43% have never been unfaithful.

What’s your drug of choice?

45.9% of men said they have used alcohol to enhance sexual stimulation, 14.2% said they had used recreational drugs and 11.1% have used prescription drugs.


If they felt they had a choice, 82.4% of men would prefer not to use a condom as they “don’t like the way they feel”.

29.6 % of men never get tested for HIV with a partner.

Cougar Town

When it comes to women, men like a bit of age! 25.4% of men said they have dated women 10 years or older and 4.8% said they dated a woman 20 years older!

More sex please!

Only 37.8% of men say they are satisfied with their sex lives.

Both men and women said they would like more action in the bedroom.

We’re an active bunch, us South Africans – full of energy!  Around 50% of both men and women only need 15 mins or less till they are ready to “go” again!

No time to wait

16.4% of men said they would have sex with a new partner after the first date most, however, said they would wait until after the 3rddate.

Pick a number

The number of sexual partners you have had can be an issue with your current partner. Our survey showed that:

Whilst most single men (23.3%) have had between 6-7 partners, they say it is ok for a partner to have had 2-3 sexual partners. The most common number for a married man to have had is 2-3.

5.3% of men claim to have sex with over 40 women.

When it comes to spilling the beans, 42.5% of men have lied to a partner about how many women they have slept with.

You’re doing it wrong!

Mistakes men said women were making in bed other than the lack of communication were “just lying there” (39.9%), “poor technique” (23.3%) and “rushing foreplay” (22%).

When it comes to oral sex men’s biggest complaints are that their partners don’t use enough tongue (31.2%), their teeth get in the way (30.4%) and they are not persistent enough (26.1%)!

Fake it ‘til you make it?

12% of men say the worst thing their partner could do in bed was to fake an orgasm and 53% of men aren’t sure if their partner is faking it.

The Big O

68.1% of men say they orgasm once during sex, yet 27.4% say they orgasm more than once.

The sexual activity most likely to bring a man to orgasm is vaginal sex (84.4%), followed by oral sex (38.8%).

Both women and men enjoy sex no matter whether an orgasm is achieved or not, however a large portion of men 45.9% said that reaching an orgasm is vital.

Getting kinky

When it came to getting a little adventurous in bed, 32.5% of guys admitted to wanting to try group sex. Other activities guys say they would like to try is costume role play, and taking photos of themselves/filming themselves doing the deed.

47.9% of men have watched porn with a partner.

Other interesting stats

  • Cowgirl (women on top) was rated as the favoured sex position (51.6%), second came doggy style (49.9%) and missionary in third place with 38.6%.
  • The majority of men (28.6%) masturbate 2-3 times a week, 4.5% more than once a day and 9% say they don’t masturbate.
  • 65.2% of men said they have had sex with an ex partner, 40.6% with a co-worker.
  • 53% of men rated women’s breasts as the sexiest part of their bodies, 51.5% their bums and 29.1% said they were all about the legs!
  • 10.4% of men admit to thinking about sex every few minutes.
  • 20-30 minutes is the average time both women and men would like sex to last.

Getting social

  • Only 45.6% of men consider flirting online as cheating.
  • 53% of men troll Facebook/Twitter to investigate their dates (72% of women do this).
  • The biggest turn off for men are when lots of other guys post on their potential dates social platforms.
  • 41% of men think it’s possible to have a romantic relationship exclusively on a social media platform.
  • 30% of men have had sex with someone they met on a social media platform.
  • 46.2% of men prefer using sms/bbm as a dating platform.

Read more about the survey results in the latest issue of Men’s Health and Women's Health, now on sale. 

What women say about sex




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