Oral sex can be a great addendum to your sexual banquet, but like most things we do between the sheets, it’s best approached with a light-hearted attitude, rather than as a goal-oriented sprint to the finish. Here’s how to put the love into your oral play.

L – Licking is the key to teasing your partner to pleasure, rather than non-stop sucking. Imagine you’re eating a creamy soft-serve ice cream, dripping with goodness, and you don’t want to miss a drop. Blowing hard is a complete no-no, but letting your partner feel your soft, warm breath as you sigh onto the moist flesh of his or her thighs can be delightful.

O – Observe and connect. Your partner will give you cues as to how to proceed. Watch his or her face for signs of increased enjoyment – or boredom! Listen for panting breath or small grunts or whimpers, which usually mean it’s good. And if in doubt, take a second to ask: “Do you like it like this?”

V - Variety will win you the prize of a huge smile on your partner’s face. Avoid getting stuck in a hard, repetitive motion. Rather vary the intensity and move around, sometimes approaching from the underside of the penis or clitoris, sometimes from the top.

E – Enjoy yourself, have fun, don’t just try to prove how brilliant you are at giving oral sex. If you enjoy the sensuality of the experience it will be much more satisfying for both of you.

And of course, remember to use a condom or dental dam to ensure your safety from those pesky STIs.

Read More:

A guide to safe oral sex