One of the great things about doing what I do is the opportunity to learn all the time. The questions that are asked in consultations, lessons and workshops are often challenging, forcing me to think, to come up with something new, a different angle on something, a new way of looking at something which gives a whole new understanding.
Even just presenting the material on the various courses often allows for learning by saying things in different ways.
We were talking about the idea of really hard penetrative sex. For a lot of men this is very hard to sustain and ‘do right’. I’ve long said that sex, sheer penetrative sex is an art on it’s own. Now, for a man to be able to sustain this as long as his partner needs, and that’s the key here, requires control of muscles and breathe.
What this does is that it allows an aspect of the true sexual nature of women out. It gives permissions for the beast goddess to scream out her passion and her desire, for her animalistic sexuality to be released and come out screaming with passion, demanding satisfaction. This is not the sexuality of gentleness and sensuality, as important and fulfilling as that is.
This is the power of female sexuality; this allows a woman the fullness of herself. Its satisfaction is not always to be found in orgasms, it's not about a goal, it’s about sensation and the release of that fire deep within.
This is a tough space for a lot of men because of what it requires from them.
Firstly, it needs complete attention and concentration, almost acknowledging the sacredness of the act.
Then it needs control of your sexual muscles, your breath, your stamina, and your willingness to go to a place that may make you uncomfortable. And then you need to be man enough to give your partner the space and safety to show that past of herself, to allow that fire to come into a raging, sweating, pumping, screaming inferno.
This takes you both on an amazing journey to the heart of yourself as a person as well as to the soul of your relationship.
It’s also a way for the totally physical, the lust energy, to be transformed into something spiritual, to move that energy of pleasure through the body to a place that’s hard to describe.
You need to be vulnerable to go there. There are no masks, no games. It’s a place of truth. I say this because you see yourself and your partner for something real, something you may never have shown or shared before.
As difficult as this may be for men, so it is for women. To totally let go, to allow that beautiful slut goddess to awaken is life changing. Once that door is opened, you can never fully close it again. You may not want to visit it often, but when the fire calls…
This is not only about hard, pounding sex, but pertains to all sensual and sexual aspects of a relationship, and it’s not limited to straight relationships either.
(Jonti Searll, updated April 2011)
(Picture: passionate couple from Shutterstock)