08 February 2013

Saying Yes

Watch any TV sitcom and at some point you’ll hear a reference to the “third-date rule”.


Watch any TV sitcom and at some point you’ll hear a reference to the “third-date rule”. Interpretation of the rule varies, but essentially it means that there should not be sex before the third date. The effect, though, in these fictional stories is there is often pressure to say yes, ready or not. This myth that there is an arbitrary right or wrong time to have sex is not good for anyone who is trying to have a loving, orgasmic and mutually pleasurable sexual experience.

Here are our rules about Yes:

  • Two yeses are required for a Yes. If either party feels No or Maybe, then there is no Yes.
  • “Oh, alright, then” is not a Yes.
  • There is no Yes from children under the age of consent (16 in South Africa for both sexes). As an adult it’s your responsibility to know that.
  • You can change your mind about Yes. It’s awkward to explain to the half-naked person that you would actually rather wait, but better a little awkwardness than longer-lasting regret.
  • A Yes doesn’t mean you have to say Yes again. Just because you had sex with this person once, or 20 times, or for 20 years, doesn’t mean you are obliged to always say Yes.
  • The best type of Yes comes in threes: “yes, yes YES!” Those are worth waiting for.

Any questions? Ask the Sexologist 


Get a quote


Read Health24’s Comments Policy

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Live healthier

Up for grabs! »

To vape or not to vape? Twisp's new range of e-cigs Discover your Twisp

Win one of the 3 new devices from Twisp!

Now you can stand a chance of winning one of the 3 new devices, as well as flavours and accessories worth R2000 each!

Love your heart »

SA dying of heart disease Natural trans fats good for heart Heart probs and sex life

How old is your heart? Take this test

What's your heart age? Use the calculator to see the real age of your heart. Post your results in the comments!