advertisement
08 February 2013

Saying Yes

Watch any TV sitcom and at some point you’ll hear a reference to the “third-date rule”.

0

Watch any TV sitcom and at some point you’ll hear a reference to the “third-date rule”. Interpretation of the rule varies, but essentially it means that there should not be sex before the third date. The effect, though, in these fictional stories is there is often pressure to say yes, ready or not. This myth that there is an arbitrary right or wrong time to have sex is not good for anyone who is trying to have a loving, orgasmic and mutually pleasurable sexual experience.

Here are our rules about Yes:

  • Two yeses are required for a Yes. If either party feels No or Maybe, then there is no Yes.
  • “Oh, alright, then” is not a Yes.
  • There is no Yes from children under the age of consent (16 in South Africa for both sexes). As an adult it’s your responsibility to know that.
  • You can change your mind about Yes. It’s awkward to explain to the half-naked person that you would actually rather wait, but better a little awkwardness than longer-lasting regret.
  • A Yes doesn’t mean you have to say Yes again. Just because you had sex with this person once, or 20 times, or for 20 years, doesn’t mean you are obliged to always say Yes.
  • The best type of Yes comes in threes: “yes, yes YES!” Those are worth waiting for.

Any questions? Ask the Sexologist 

 
advertisement

Read Health24’s Comments Policy

Comment on this story
0 comments
Comments have been closed for this article.

Live healthier

Coffee and wine for the win! »

Could heartburn drugs upset your 'good' gut bacteria? Life is a gut reaction

Good news! Coffee & wine may promote a healthy gut

Diverse bacteria help your gut stay healthy. Here's how what you eat and drink can help or harm that balance - and it's not all bad news.

I gave hubby HIV »

Giving babies antibodies promptly may eliminate HIV Vaginal ring to prevent HIV on the cards

I gave my husband HIV and watched him die

Stephanie van Niekerk unwittingly infected her husband with HIV and ended up having to watch him wither and die in front of her very eyes. This is Stephanie's story in her own words.