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Updated 25 April 2013

Prepare for bedroom fireworks

Here are some easy tips for men and women that will light up not just the bedroom ceiling, but your whole neighbourhood too.

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re you getting too much sleep? Do you end up watching infomercials on TV? Here are some easy tips for men and women that will light up not just the bedroom ceiling, but your whole neighbourhood too.


For men
Blokes are goal-oriented. They don’t shop - they zero in on the target, buy it and leave. Intimacy requires a slightly less fastidious approach:

  • When foreplay starts, avoid the tendency to head straight for the genitals or breasts. Remember how hot under the um, collar you got when necking at your high school’s barn dance? Take it slowly. Concentrate on being the best kisser your partner’s never had;
  • Treat every area of the body as an erogenous zone. Touch and kiss oft-neglected areas such as the neck, throat, inner arms, stomach and eyelids before moving on to the breasts and thighs;
  • Once you’re touching your partner’s genitals, be conscious of her reaction. If she moves your hand or positions herself differently, stay there, because that’s where she wants the stimulation;
  • Most guys regard foreplay as First Base, something to dash through on the way to penetration, rolling over and going to sleep. It needn’t be. If cunnilingus is driving your partner wild, you needn’t break the spell. Bring her to orgasm that way. You’ll get your your turn, one way or another;
  • Don’t react to expressions of pleasure - breathing heavily, pulling your hair or calling your name – by increasing the pace or intensity of whatever you’re doing. Just maintain a steady pace;
  • Bucking like a bronco can be downright painful and many women prefer focused, pressure. Try this: rather than the old style of thrusting in the missionary position, put your partner on top. Let her lean forward, with her hands on your shoulders and the pressure of her clitoral mound against your pelvis. She might decide to wriggle untl she comes. Enhancing your presence with a pillow under your bum could be just what Dr Ruth ordered.

    Please, refrain from rolling over and starting to snore. Indulge in cuddling and stroking, or offer to fetch a drink. It’ll help ensure there’s a next time.

For women
Few women realise the power at their disposal, or how potent the allure of an “average-looking” women who puts her mind to it. All it takes is a little confidence and imagination.

Men generally are very excited when women initiate intimacy, and prolonging the undressing part heightens that sense of participation. Combine this by wearing something diaphanous and sexy. Something that makes you feel silly won’t work, because you won’t be able to relax, but be a little adventurous;
  • Don’t rush. Prolonging the undressing part heightens the pleasure. Combine this coyness with a little brazen self-confidence and keep your man’s blood pressure pills handy. Try things he might never ask you to do, such as kissing his nipples or eyelids;
  • Try lying your man on his back and rubbing him down with oil or cream. Don’t push too hard on his stomach and delay touching his genitals until the anticipation is excruciating. He may try to join in, in which case pushing him back down and continuing with your rubbing will only heighten the sexual tension;
  • Blokes react quickly to having their genitals – especially the glans, or the tip of the penis – touched, so he’s likely to ejaculate fairly soon if you continue caressing him. So make the touching a stop-start thing;
  • Not all men get an erection immediately, even if they’re very aroused. Using your tongue or fingers, or rubbing the penis between your breasts ought to change all that. Using a lubricant will help too;
  • Like the howling feedback between a microphone and a loudspeaker, being verbal about your enjoyment is a turn-on for most men. So feel free to make a noise. He’ll take it as a compliment.

- (William Smook)

(Picture: sexy couple from Shutterstock)

Read more:
Masturbation - fun or folly?
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