Updated 13 March 2013

Learn good lip service

It’s been called more destructive than any sword, and yes, the tongue can do some real damage. But here’s how to make your partner wax lyrical about yours.

Not everyone can do cunnilingus well. If you can, you’re more likely to be welcome at home than your neighbour, whose repertoire considers solely of a frenzied five minutes in the good ol’ missionary position.

Pillow torque. Instead of her lying flat on the bed, get her to turn her hips a quarter of the way and put a pillow under it for support. Then hook her leg over your shoulder and chow down. This gives better access to the clitoral shaft.

Use it like a fire. imagine that your tongue is a flame, licking, flicking and curling around the clitoris; rather than just moving up and down. This is a clever way of ensuring that the clitoris isn’t subjected to constant, predictable pressure, which could make it retreat back inside its little hood.

The rough with the smooth. The underside of your tongue is slick, the top has a little more texture. Alternating the two, and using the blade of the tongue where the two textures meet, will give your move some variety. Use the harder tip of your tongue on the top and sides of the clitoris and the smoother bit, especially the underside, on its underside.

Turn up the heat. If you have a warm drink handy, take a sip and hold it in your mouth. Swallow and then give the clitoris a gentle but thorough licking. The increased heat of your mouth will stop just this side of shocking.

Blow up a storm. Now and then, blow very gentle on the clitoris. If your partner enjoys it, she’s likely to let you know in fairly plain terms. Don’t do this if she’s just about to have an orgasm of epic, seismic proportions.

Straight up, no chasers. For mutual comfort, lie on a bed and ask her to kneel astride your upturned face. This enables her to control the movement of her hips and her proximity to you. Try keeping your tongue stiff and immobile and letting her ride across it.

Don’t get stuck on 69. Mutual oral sex is fun, but if you’re planning to take her all the way to orgasm with your mouth, you might both enjoy one-way. This lets her enjoy the sensations. Never fear: she’ll think of some way to thank you.

Stay in touch. As much as 80 percent of women feel a little lonely or insecure during oral sex. Occasional romantic murmurs will help. Don’t talk dirty unless she asks you to.

The only time “no” means “yes”. Like another well-known organ, your tongue can be pretty stiff. Stick it out straight, draw it across the clitoris in a firm “No-no-no” action.

Take a message, dear. Ask her to stand with one leg on a chair, while you sit on the floor beneath her. This means craning your neck, but hey - that’s life. If her legs buckle, you’re doing well. You can warn her that the next time she’s on a long phone call, you intend doing this. See how long she can keep talking. Hint - if she’s closing a big deal by phone, save your hot move for the celebration. - (William Smook)



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