How much is just right?

No-one is in the mood for sex all day every day – fatigue, illness, stress, mood and many other factors can play a part in dampening your desire to get naked and sweaty. It’s inevitable that now and again one half of a couple is ready for action while the other one would rather finish the sales report – or watch the rerun of the roast of Steve Hofmeyr.

How often we have sex can be the cause of discontent: typically when one half of the couple would like to get intimate more often. Accusations and insults are not helpful at these times, however, so resist the urge to call your partner a “raging sex maniac” or “a frigid passion-killer”.

Comparisons are usually not helpful – so if the guys in the gym claim their girlfriends are hot to trot every night, or the moms in the playground seem less active than you, bear in mind that you are only getting one version of the truth.

If you love and desire each other, the most important thing is to communicate and keep the discussion open. Don’t push each other away, rather hold each other close and feel the love, even if you don’t feel the urge.

For the record, here’s how often research says other people are getting busy between the sheets: how often do people have sex? But remember, what works for you both is all that matters.

(Health24, September 2012)