5. The library
Pleasure count: 9
The great thing about libraries is they’re big – very big. There are countless nooks and crannies within a library’s labyrinth of shelves and books where an adventurous couple can get it on. Take public research to new levels by turning the Ichthyology section into your own dirty little corner.
Studying or research now doesn’t have to be boring. The human brain can only remain focused on one subject for about 40 to 60 minutes without a rest, so taking breaks between study sessions can be incredibly helpful. Sneaking off for a quickie during study sessions may help improve your information intake.
A library is a public place, and so the chances of getting caught are relatively high. This can add to the excitement of the whole affair.
Sex in the corridors between shelves and books might be quite difficult. The tight spaces will give you and your partner the opportunity to explore new sexual positions, mostly standing ones. These positions also allow for easy retreat in the case of possible discovery.
Libraries are notoriously quiet places, and nothing may attract attention more than heavy panting from the Government Gazette section.
Being caught doing the tango by an ancient librarian might have serious consequences, and you could find yourselves facing legal charges of public indecency, or worse, having your library cards confiscated for life.
Having sex in a library is all about planning. Scope the place out first, and find some of the more secluded and quiet sections of the building.
Try working out a routine, changing from one section to another every month until you’ve covered the entire alphabet.
What you wear for the eventual deed is incredibly important. Guys should remember to wear pants with a zipper, and boxer shorts rather than briefs for easier access. Ladies should wear skirts with no underwear rather than pants, so as to get things over with as quickly as possible.
Remember that sound travels in large spaces like a library. You will both need to be as silent as possible in order to avoid possible detection by any snooping library monitors.
4. In the swimming pool
Pleasure count: 8
Swimming pools are a great way to enjoy sex in a completely different manner. The environment of a pool is about as far away from the bed as you can get. You are submerged in (often cold) water, you have to work to keep afloat and you have greater freedom of movement.
Traditional sex in summer can be a viciously warm affair. But cooling off in the pool doesn’t necessarily have to chill you down entirely. Go for a skinny dip on a hot day. You may find this nudity in a strange environment incredibly exciting, and a welcome change from the bedroom or bathroom.
Sex in a pool requires a higher level of fitness to that of duvet wrestling, especially if done in the deep end. It’s also a good clean way to enjoy one another’s bodies.
Being submerged under water also helps to hide your body from your partner, which could be both arousing for couples that have been together for a while, or beneficial for an individual who is not happy with his or her body. Being underwater also opens up a whole new aspect of physical sensation.
Swimming also gives you an immense amount of freedom to move as you please. This new found freedom will give you and your partner room to explore sexual positions that would never be possible in the bedroom.
Drowning is of course a major concern when having sex in a swimming pool. If you are going to try underwater techniques, remember that you still need to breath.
Both you and your partner need to frequently surface for air, so never force your partner to stay submerged longer than they are willing to do so.
Contrary to popular belief, water is in fact not a very good lubricant. It may be a good idea to apply some lubricant before belly flopping into the pool for some nookie.
Sex in the deep end will be different to sex in the shallow end, and a couple should experiment with both.
When in the deep end, try to achieve ‘free-falling’ penetration. This is penetration while submerged underwater with no parts of your body touching any sides of the pool. This is an incredibly difficult technique, but intensely gratifying, as the sensation of free movement combines with sexual gratification.
When in the shallow end, make use of the sides of the pools, and standing positions. You may want to try old favourites with a twist.
Stand leaning against the side of the pool and penetrate her while she floats on her back and places her feet on your chest. You can support her by holding her afloat with your hands underneath her back
Let her straddle you with her arms around your neck and her legs freely on your sides
Sit on the pool stairs and let her straddle you sitting down backwards
3. The mile-high club
Pleasure count: 5
There has always been huge hype about sex on aeroplanes, no thanks to B-grade Hollywood trash films. The fact of the matter is, it’s more difficult than it seems.
For anyone who has frequented the loo on a plane, they will undoubtedly know that the tiny cubicle is hardly big enough for one person, let alone two.
Thus, joining the ‘mile-high-club’ is more a status thing than an act of sexual pleasure. Nevertheless, it is an exciting undertaking for any couple trying to spice up an otherwise tedious flight.
There isn’t much to gain from shagging in a tiny room smaller than your grandmother’s jewellery box - however it has been documented that an orgasm at forty thousand feet is incredibly intense.
Aside from being able to claim you shagged in a plane, there isn’t much more to gain from this endeavour.
There is always the chance of being caught, and airlines are usually not that lenient with people ‘abusing their services’.
Because of the small space of the cubicle, sex on a plane is often uncomfortable and awkward. It is also extremely difficult not to make a noise, as banging against the doors or walls of the toilet can often not be avoided.
The first trick is for both of you to get to the toilet without raising too much suspicion. Get up and move toward the toilet as inconspicuously as possible. Do not make any large movements like yawning or stretching, as this will only raise suspicion.
Your partner should wait at least three minutes before coming to find you. If your partner arrives at the cubicle, and there are no hostesses or other passengers around, he/she should give two knocks to signal for you to let them in. If there is someone snooping about, then he/she should give three knocks to signal the ‘no-go’.
Once inside the cubicle, remain as silent as possible. Sit on the toilet seat and let your partner mount you facing forward with her hands on the door. This will be the easiest way to achieve penetration.
To leave the cubicle, try and remain as quiet as possible and listen for anyone outside. There is no sure way to tell if there is someone waiting, so follow your intuition. If you think the coast is clear, open the door, and one of you return to your seat while the other waits in the cubicle for at least three minutes before returning.
If you get caught, the best you can do is blush your way back to your seats and tell whoever caught you that you thought it was a photo booth.
Next: The top two sex hotspots...
(Warren Vonk, Health24.com, updated April 2011)