If you were asked, you’d say that you had a great sex life. You and your partner have really given it a good go, and tried everything under the sun. You’ve twisted, turned, and contorted each other’s bodies into positions that would make a gymnast blush.
But something’s different. It feels like it’s becoming more of a chore than a session of passion. It’s got you thinking – is the passion dying? Are we spent?
Not by a long shot! Before you throw in the towel and move onto greener pastures, remember that there is one more strategy you can use to spice up a stale sex life – location, location, location!
A change of scenery might just be what your relationship needs to bring back the flavour. If your sexual affairs have been confined to the bedroom for longer than you can remember, it’s time to get out more and explore the world.
If you’re conservative, shy, or just plain boring, Health24 is here to help. Following is our comprehensive top 7 list of the best alternative places to make whoopie, designed to take your sex life to the next level.
Please remember that trying some of the following suggestions could lead to breaking the law. Fantasy is sometimes better than reality, and should remain that way for those who do not want to have a brush with the law.
Remember also that sex in public places is technically illegal.
Health24 will not take responsibility for any legal action that may result from living out the fantasies described in this article.
7. At your parent’s house
Pleasure count: 7
Have you ever caught your parents getting down and dirty? Well now is your chance to get them back. Invite yourself and your partner over for Sunday lunch, and dress appropriately.
Having sex in your parent’s house can be one of the most risky things any couple can do, and that’s what makes it so exciting. Whether it be in their bedroom, bathroom, guestroom or even your old or current room, the sense of rebellious achievement will be well worth the consequences of being caught.
A change of environment can do wonders for a run-down sex life, and what better location than your folks’ spare bedroom?
The biggest problem with dancing the light fandango at your parents’ pad is getting caught. Depending on how open your parents are, the consequences could range from a perpetual loss of trust, to complete disownment from the family, and more importantly, from any inheritance.
What you wear is essential. Remember that the quicker it’s over, the lesser the chance of getting caught.
Avoid tight clothing – you could both just leave out underwear for the evening. Not only will this keep you both sweating with anticipation all night, but will ensure a quick attack and retreat when the time comes.
It’s all about timing. Use lines like, ‘I’m just going to show her my old room,’ or, ‘come honey, you must see the new renovations!’ This will bring suspicions down to a minimum, and give you the precious five minute time slot needed.
Because you are in close proximity with guests, make sure to wash as well as possible afterwards, so as to eliminate any possibly incriminating odours.
6. In your car on a long trip
Pleasure count: 6
One of the major causes of long distance travel accidents is drivers falling asleep behind the wheel. Nothing will keep a driver more awake than a bit of action during regular intervals on a long road trip.
Remember that there will be other cars regularly passing you. Think back to how exciting it was doing the naughty at the risk of being caught. With constant traffic around you, someone’s bound to catch on to what you’re doing.
No more spending money on expensive energy drinks to keep you awake. Not only do orgasms get the blood flowing, but also stimulate the release of adrenaline into the bloodstream, helping to keep even the most fatigued driver awake the natural way.
Twelve hours in a car can be incredibly boring. There's nothing like a bit of sexual foreplay throughout the trip to help pass the time.
Driving long distances requires intense concentration and observation by the driver. Mischievous road trip antics could result in a distracted driver causing an accident, and possibly putting lives at risk.
Because of the limited space in a vehicle, and the high safety risks involved, sex in a car (especially a moving one) should be limited to foreplay only.
As the driver, you have one free hand to touch and explore at will. Just make sure to keep your eyes on the road!
As the passenger, you have two hands to touch and explore. Oral sex is also an option, but caution should be observed. Remember to not obstruct the drivers view, or to interfere with the steering or other mechanics of the vehicle.
Choose a soundtrack for the trip. Because a car is a confined space, your sounds of love will be amplified, and some may find this off-putting. Turn the system up before heating up the cabby.
If you plan on engaging in sexual activities on a long distance trip, take the following precautions:
Do not do anything on busy sections of highways. Wait for the traffic to quieten down, or find a quiet back road before trying anything
As the driver, slow down and maintain a safe distance from any vehicle in front of you
As the passenger, never obstruct the view of the driver
If you both feel things are getting too intense, stop the car and finish your business on the backseat, before trekking on
(Warren Vonk, Health24)